Bill Yoh, celebrating 100 years of life and love

Born in the age of rumble seats, ice boxes, and boys' knickers, Bill Yoh has seen and experienced an enormous number of changes in the world over the past 100 years. Yoh will officially become a centenarian on Dec. 19, 2017. Born in rural Pennsylvania, and residing in Philadelphia for most of the first two-thirds of his life, Yoh has called Niwot his home since 1984 - over 33 years ago.

It was a snowy winter day in Eureka, PA, when Yoh's mother went into labor. As if the urgency of the situation wasn't concerning enough, Bill Yoh was accompanied by a twin brother, Bob, and neither of them were able to wait for their father to return with a doctor to assist with their delivery. Home alone, their mother gave birth to the pair.

While Yoh will say the secret to his longevity has been a healthy dose of of shoo-fly pie and scrapple, one could argue that the magic ingredient has been a lifetime of family love. From the way his parents met and became an instant pair, to the courting and commitment between Yoh and his wife Becky, to relocating to Colorado in order to be together with family, there's a certainty and bond that surrounds him and his loved ones.

Yoh delights in the retelling of his family history and the story of his parents' first encounter is especially poignant to him. Yoh's mother and father met at a college football game, when his father looked up in the stands and spotted his sweetheart for the first time. His father didn't waste any time that day. He walked up to her, introduced himself as the captain of the Ursinus College football team and then proceeded to invite her to a dance that night. And that is what leads Yoh to say, "If it weren't for football, I wouldn't have been born."

And with those beginnings, of course his love of the sport was clinched. He is an enthusiastic supporter of the game to this day, watching as much as possible. His caregiver, Pam Dinkfelt, records every televised game for viewing at his leisure. His favorite professional team harkens back to his childhood days - the Philadelphia Eagles, and his favorite college teams are predictably, Penn State, and as a tribute to his and his father's alma mater, Ursinus College.

Yoh's story of meeting his own wife also holds a measure of randomness and inevitability. Yoh's father was a minister who asked eight young women in his congregation to buoy the spirits of their hometown soldiers during WWII by writing letters to them. Each of the women drew the name of a soldier arbitrarily and one of them chose Rev. Yoh's son Bill, who was stationed state-side as a clerk typist in the Air Corps.

Becky's letters to him began casually, but bloomed into a romance that unfolded over a year of corresponding. Only three face-to-face dates later, the two decided to marry. They had a daughter named Christine, who sadly passed away as an infant. After several miscarriages, their son Paul was born. Their next child, Rachel, was chosen by three-year-old Paul, Yoh said. At four months old, "She was picked up by Paul who declared, ‘We're taking her home!'" when they went to meet her.

Yoh worked in the hotel industry for a while, but spent 30 years working for C&D Batteries. Paul was the first in the family to move from Pennsylvania to Colorado. After Paul had children of his own here, the then-retired Yoh and his wife headed west to join them. Paul chose the renovated former elementary school on Niwot Road for his mother and father to live in, and they moved in based on his recommendation alone, never having seen it in person before.

Yoh has five grandchildren and two great grandchildren; Myla, six years old and Abby, six months old. Becky passed away in 1993 and was buried in the Niwot Cemetery. Yoh wears her wedding ring (enlarged to fit his finger) next to his band and closest to his heart to symbolize their eternal bond. He wants to be cremated and have his ashes combined with hers so they can be together forever.

Son Paul recalled a moment that exemplifies his dad's love. "I was winning my first two-mile race at a track meet and I could hear my Dad rooting me on loud and clear! He was always there." And Rachel said of Yoh's steadfast paternalism, "Dad and I would go for walks in the woods and I always had a zillion questions, . . . and he always had a zillion answers."

At his admirably mature age, he continues to keep his brain busy with his lifelong passion of stamp collecting. Devotedly working on his collection, he fills books with pre-cancelled and topical (thematic) stamps and includes in-depth information on the places they're from and the origins of each stamp. His eyes aren't quite as good as they used to be, so he uses a large screen magnifier to get an up-close view of each stamp.

"Stamps are history" Yoh said. He continues to attend monthly meetings of the Boulder Stamp Club. While he likes to say he "stole" his first stamp from a letter sent to his father by a woman doing missionary work in China, he still searches out and acquires stamps from many sources, including eBay these days.

Yoh's passion for history goes further back in time and led to him become a paleontology and arrowhead buff. His labeled fossil and arrowhead collections are frame-worthy. Yoh recalled a particularly memorable trip to the UK with Becky in the summer of 1974, where they learned about prehistoric man at the University of North Wales and visited Stonehenge.

Yoh will be having two celebrations of his 100th birthday – one at China Panda in Longmont at 5 p.m. on Dec. 19, and another with his church family at Niwot United Methodist Church following the 10:20 a.m. worship service on Dec. 17. Both are open to friends near and far.

Yoh's ancestors have a history of living into old age. He said his goal is to live to be 103 years old, because his grandma passed away just three days shy of her 103rd birthday.

If you ask Yoh how his health is, he's likely to say "hunky dory!" His positive attitude, the kind and loving care of his family and Dinkfelt (including a schedule that highlights each day's activities, even exercise), his desire to stay cognitively active, and yes, his love of the molasses based shoo-fly pie, have graced Yoh with a long and wonderful life. "Dad always says "People say they're rich with money. I am rich with family'" Paul said.

Inside the Queen and Prince Philip's Love of the Simple Life

In August this year, at the grand old age of 96, and amidst mounting concerns for his health, Prince Philip officially retired from the frontline of public life, with his office announcing he would no longer be performing public engagements.

Since then, sightings of the outspoken Prince Consort have been as rare as hen's teeth. Like many other retirees before him, Philip, 96, has hunkered down and squared up to the myriad challenges of constructing a new life for himself no longer filled by incessant work obligations.

One of his first decisions was to move completely move out of Buckingham Palace, the official primary residence of the Monarch and her spouse, where he has only spent a handful of nights since stepping back from public life.

Philip has never made any secret of his dislike for Buckingham Palace (as the Netflix series The Crown dramatized so vividly) and has been known to compare its architecture to a hospital.

Over the past few months, Philip has been dividing his time between Windsor Castle (which he and his wife adore) and, intriguingly, a modestly proportioned and very cozy former farm manager's cottage on the Sandringham estate, Wood Farm.

The demands of duty mean that Philip and the queen have become accustomed to living geographically separate lives. Indeed, even when they are together they do not sleep in the same bedroom. So it's safe to say the new living arrangements are not indicative of any marital discord

On the contrary, the move to Wood Farm in fact represents the first steps in fulfilling a long held joint fantasy of Philip and the queen; the dream of quietly living out their days as "normal" people in the Shires.

That may be the ultimate purpose of Wood Farm, where Philip now fills his days with reading, painting (which he has always enjoyed when time allowed) and letter writing on behalf the 780 organizations of which he is still patron.

Living full time in the countryside has also allowed Philip to indulge one of the great passions of his life which is carriage driving. The mild and dry fall has been kind to Philip in this respect, often providing the perfect conditions for him to ride out with a four-in-hand.

Indeed, just this week, Philip was photographed driving a carriage laden with esteemed guests—including the Margrave (Count) of Baden, who is the nephew of Philip through his mother and Prince Ludwig of Baden—through Windsor Great Park during the celebrations for his 70th wedding anniversary.

Photographs showing the apparently hale and hearty duke were particularly welcome as one source said he had looked "almost dead" the weekend before in London.

Philip's health—he has had numerous health scares and hospitalizations in recent years—hangs silently over everything the royal couple do, of course.

Wood Farm has no on-site medical facility like Buckingham Palace, but the local hospital, Papworth, has previously demonstrated its ability to cope with their VIP local resident after Philip was rushed there by helicopter for emergency surgery after a heart attack in 2011.

The queen's visits to Wood Farm are said to be marked by informality, with the two role playing a distinctly middle class vision of domesticity, a game they have enjoyed for many years, particularly in Scotland, at Craigowan Lodge on the Balmoral estate, where the queen dons her Marigolds to do the washing up following Philip's legendary barbecues.

Penny Junor, the author of the forthcoming biography of Camilla Parker Bowles, The Duchess: Camilla Parker Bowles and the Love Affair That Rocked the Crown, told The Daily Beast that for several years the couple have chosen to stay at Wood Farm rather than opening up the big house if it is "just them" at Sandringham.

"They are very modest. They like being in a smaller cosier house, and not having to have all the staff. We may dream of living in palace surrounded by flunkies, but they dream of being like us. Just a few weeks ago David Linley (son of Princess Margaret) was given a day's shooting at Balmoral for a birthday present, and the Queen and the Duke were waiting on the guests."

Junor says it is also unsurprising that the duke continues, despite his official retirement, to write, lobby and fundraise on behalf of the 700-plus organizations of which he is still patron.

"When Diana bowed out of public life she gave up hundreds of roles just like that. Philip was very disapproving of what she had done because she let so many people down."

The writer Lady Colin Campbell told The Daily Beast that she believes the royal couples love of playing the part of ordinary folk can be attributed to their breeding.

"Both the queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are the great-great grandchildren of King Christian IX of Denmark, who was promoted from being an ordinary ducal prince to the throne. A strong line of very middle class domesticity runs in all his descendants. His children, who married into many of the royal families of Europe and included Queen Alexandra, were all brought up in relative penury, with little money, even after he was promoted.

"They lived a very frugal, upper middle class life. The children had to repair their own clothes and do housework, and their mother did the cooking, and this really is the key to the domesticity bred through all the great royal families of Europe."

Indeed, it may not be so long before the queen retreats in full from her own public appearance schedule and joins her husband at Wood Farm or Windsor more frequently than the odd weekend she can currently spare.

Her decision to ask Charles to lay a wreath on her behalf at the Cenotaph on Veteran's Day this year was likely a harbinger of things to come.

As the writer Christopher Andersen told The Daily Beast: "Philip has never made any attempt to conceal his utter disdain for the ceremonial duties that have gone with his position. Now he is blissfully free of them and making the most of that freedom. Without Philip, the queen is feeling somewhat unmoored, and in her heart of hearts would love to join him in retirement."

Being average-looking has made me happier in life and love

My looks don't stop traffic. Nor do they light up a room. It would be more accurate to say they have the impact of a one-bar gas heater in an ice-cool lounge; slightly insipid yet perfectly effective.

I can sidle up to my son's football match with little more than a nod from the other parents, the swish of my shoulder-length brown hair going unnoticed by the referee. Only my sharp observations and witty put-downs during the game turn heads.

This is what I love about being a self-affirmed plain Jane; the ability to be seen not for the symmetry of my face – which, frankly, has everything to do with good genes and little else – but for wit, character and intellect.

You only have to look at the A-list to see I'm on to something. Elisabeth Moss was hardly off our screens this summer, starring in the critically acclaimed The Handmaid's Tale (which earned her an Emmy)  and Top of the Lake: China Girl, yet she's hardly your stereotypically beautiful Hollywood star.

The same  goes for Girls actress and creator Lena Dunham,  Joanne Froggatt, of ITV's recent hit drama Liar, and Catastrophe's Sharon Horgan.  Unlike the Angelina Jolies or Gwyneth Paltrows  of the world, these actresses have a normalcy to their looks that gives them an air of relatability we, the viewers, can't get enough of.

On the catwalks, too,  there is a trend towards jolie laide models – a delightful French expression, literally 'beautiful ugly', to describe a woman who has what many would consider unattractive features.

Lily McMenamy, who's walked  for everyone from Chanel to Fendi to Emilio Pucci,  is the perfect example with her sticky-out ears and teeth, as is the alien-like Molly Bair, who's modelled  for Dior, Moschino and Vera Wang.

While it heartens me now – aged 46 – to hear of the traditional aesthetic of beauty finally being challenged, it doesn't help the teenage me, who pined to be beautiful at a time when a cute button nose, straight teeth and poker-straight hair were the only attributes that mattered. (FYI: I only had the button nose.)

Boys didn't seem to care I was one of the cleverest in the class or that my politics essays were distributed by teachers as examples of excellent work. Who cared about excellent work when excellent bone structure was the sole gateway to social nirvana?

I remember having an insane crush on a tall Greek boy called Pedro in sixth form (cue nightly fantasies of our elopement to Kos and a barefoot wedding ceremony under a white-hot sun), only to have him utter these soul-crushing words: 'Do you think you could put a word in for me with your mate Shelley? She's dead fit.'

My heart twinges even now when I think of it; my tear-streaked face in the bathroom mirror, my mother whispering useless words of comfort as she attempted to run her fingers through the frizz that was my hair.  I eyed my pretty friends with envy and thought all my problems would disappear if only I had better skin, hair, teeth, lips, eyes, cheekbones…

After a lengthy period of wound-licking, I resolved  to stay away from shallow boys (which ruled out most, it turned out). Then hope arrived, somewhat ironically, in the form of lithe heart-throb Patrick Swayze. 'Nobody puts Baby in the corner' was his seminal line to Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, before lifting her triumphantly over his head, championing plain girls with talents hidden under bushels everywhere.

I started to see the advantages of blossoming away from the spotlight; the greatest being not having your looks speak for you.  By my early 20s I had filled a bookshelf in my London flat with dog-eared second-hand books I had devoured and could happily critique with anyone, while my beautiful flatmate simply went to Waterstones one day and came home with an armful of 30 books, wanting a shelf that looked as interesting as mine.

It was as if she was trying to prove she had substance as well as looks.  It took her years to marry and settle down. I don't think she ever knew who she was; only how she looked to others. I, on the other hand, found love relatively easily in my early 30s, got married and had two gorgeous boys.

Sadly, two years ago, we split after a decade together; and although I didn't lift my head up for the following year, I met my current partner soon after that. (He was my third date back out there.) Being beautiful, I learned, only took you so far and everyone around me at the beginning of the noughties seemed to agree.

What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Your Love Life This Week: September 25, 2017

 

With a new week comes new astrological insights. Here are your weekly love horoscopes, predictions and essential oil recommendations, courtesy of Athena Perrakis, PhD, founder and CEO of Sage Goddess.

It's a power-packed week in astrology and love, dear ones! The sun has moved from critical Virgo this week to Libra, where balance and harmony are the focus now. Libra represents the great scales, the balancing of light and darkness, and as such is the dominant sign of the harvest season. Libra urges us to give thanks for all that we have, and to see the blessing in any challenge we face. Use this rush of Libra energy to foster a deeper and more harmonic connection to those you love.

For the first few days of this week, the moon is in Sagittarius so you might feel restless or eager to spend more time outdoors, especially with these gorgeous fall days beckoning us outside to gaze at the changing hues of the landscapes wherever you are. There is another date this week to look forward to: on September 28, Pluto (the planet of personal and spiritual development) turns direct. It has been retrograde, or moving in backward motion, since April and that has left many feeling like their relationships are on “pause”.

Now, as Pluto moves direct, energies of transformation and development are highlighted. It's a new day! In love, Pluto governs our ability to be completely intimate with others, sharing both our light shade and our shadow side, or the difficult parts of us to love completely. In your personal horoscope below, I'll share how sun in Libra and Pluto direct can impact your experience of love in the week ahead.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Aries, you are ready to soak up some quiet time with your beloved. Recent events have had you questioning who is on your side and who you can really be intimate with on a soul level. Sun in Libra now has you showing more of your softer side to your mate, and has you feeling relaxed as well. Pluto direct means that any changes ahead of you in the weeks to come will happen more on your terms. I know that excites an Aries for sure, as you are the sign that questions authority and resists external control. I recommend working with Apatite and Emerald, stones of wisdom and discernment, this week, and Fir Balsam essential oil to connect with grounding Earth energies.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Taurus, in your love life you have been trying to let your partner express himself or herself while still maintaining your own authenticity and creative expression. This week, as Pluto turns direct, your partner may begin to see the extent of your efforts to let them grow and evolve and express appreciation to you for how patient you have been. Libra energies bring harmony where there has been conflict in love. I recommend working with Blue Calcite this week, which is a stone of harmony in love, and Sweet Basil essential oil—or even the herb itself—to bring appreciation, beauty, and prosperity to your life.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Gemini, I sense travel ahead for you! In the next four to eight weeks, you may find yourself taking a day trip or even something more extended as a way of changing up your routine and your perspective. I see you taking your lover with you, and this travel— even if brief—will give you both a newfound appreciation for each other. Pluto's direct movement means you can finally have the conversation you know you need to have with your partner, and Libra ensures your communication will be harmonious. I recommend working with Green Aventurine and Sapphire this week for blessed travel and wisdom, and use Tonka Bean essential oil for deepened states of awareness and peace. You deserve it.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Cancer, Pluto's direct movement is going to urge you to come out of your shell. It's about time! I sense you have even been more withdrawn in your love life lately, and while that may have been comfortable, remember that it's safe to play in the world outside your shell too. Burn a candle, light some incense, spray on your favorite perfume. Work with Carnelian and other fire element stones to help you come out of that shell, and Cinnamon Cassia essential oil to light the fires within.

Leo (July 23–August 22)

Okay Leo, admit it—this sleepy energy you are indulging right now is rather luxurious, isn't it? You might be found cuddling with your partner on a cozy fur rug this week in front of a roaring fireplace, as the regal fire sign you are. Your desires for intimacy and closeness, especially tenderness, are well aspected astrologically this week. Work with Morganite to seal that heart bond with your partner, and Labdanum or Nag Champa to create that temple-like atmosphere in your castle.

Virgo (August 23–September 22)

Virgo, in love you are eager to let the details slide a bit this week and give your partner an opportunity to step up, serving you instead of the other way around as it usually is. The good news is that with Pluto direct, your partner will be far more intuitively understanding of your need this week. Expect some beautiful connections! Work with Hematite and Onyx for grounding and diffuse Cardamom essential oil for passion, romance, and intimacy.

Libra (September 23–October 22)

Libra, your partner is urging you to take a break and he or she is not wrong. You've been going non-stop! A mental health day with your partner, or at least a beautiful candlelit meal, will help you connect more deeply and also allow you to feel pampered. Now that we are in your sign, you'll feel naturally more connected to Earth and that grounding will help you sleep better, too. Work with Smoky Quartz to let go of guilt and Lavender essential oil to ease stress or tension in your body.

Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

Scorpio, you are feeling much more connected to your partner this week and much more grateful for everything around you. It's nice to see! Pluto going direct has a strong effect on you, deepening your sense of connection to the Universe and that means your connection to your partner is better too. Everyone is understanding your messages. Work with Larimar to maintain this watery and intuitive awareness, and Lotus essential oil to maintain your empathic connection to your lover.

Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

Sagittarius, there is a lot of movement happening in your life—physical and emotional—and in love, that means you are anticipating change even if it's not happening yet. Confide in your lover and let him or her provide emotional stability for you right now. Your relationship will be better for it. Work with Aragonite to stay organized and peaceful, and Lemon essential oil to stay focused and alert.

Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

Capricorn, you are in a light-hearted mood this week and it's lovely to see. Spend time with your partner playing games, or do something out of the ordinary for you both. That freedom to play will ignite fun energies of play in your relationship too! Work with Ocean Jasper or Pietersite for joy and Jasmine essential oil to appreciate the beauty of the world around you.

Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

Aquarius, Libra energy looks so beautiful on you. Seriously! Have you noticed how much your personal appearance has improved in recent weeks? That trend will continue. Plan a special occasion with your partner where you can show off your physical beauty. Work with Mookaite Jasper, the beauty and immortality stone, too support your transformation and Birch essential oil, which tones muscles, to maintain your youthful glow!

Pisces (February 18–March 20)

Pisces, your health has been in the spotlight, make sure you are taking good care of yourself! And let your partner take care of you, as well. In love, the act of caring for our beloved in times of need develops a special intimacy between partners. Let yourself be cared for lavishly. You'll both be better for it. Work with Bloodstone for physical healing and Mint essential oil to balance hormones as well as enhance mood and circulation.

Missy Dress – Romantic, Elegant and Feminine Bridal Fashion 2018

Good afternoon lovelies and what a gorgeous day it is – I had the most magical drive through my favourite country lane this morning and was treated to some real magic which you can see on my personal Instagram feed and Instagram stories. I hope that today is being kind to you too. Have you had a chance to enjoy this morning's super cute and cool wedding yet? We'll be popping another wedding onto our beloved wedding blog shortly.

Now if you're unfamiliar with the Missy Dress brand – the most important thing you need to know is that they create the most delightfully feminine, playful, chic and glamorous bridal gowns – four of which are modelled in these images, along with a collection of shoes and accessories from high street-fave, Dune. They also have the most fun and gorgeous Instagram feed MissyDress, and a brand new Instagram feed now established purely to share images of their beautiful wedding dresses.

A lot of our brides are picking a shoe that they can wear again after their wedding day – these heels by Dune have a bridal feel without looking too traditional. Perfect for brides to be who want something a bit different. To illustrate this, we donned our blogger hats and styled four different looks to offer some wedding day inspiration, especially for those having a city wedding, and who might be looking for something a little bit pared back, simple and elegant.

The first two looks feature our Missy Dress, both make in 100% pure silk satin and ooze elegance. We added a bohemian touch with floral crowns of baby's breath to keep colours tonal and showcase the beautiful unrivalled drape of the silk satin and the subtle peachy tones of the accessories.

Secondly we styled one of or best selling dresses The Petal Dress and two pieces from our separates collection, our Flossie Top and Petal Skirt (see top image above), for minimal yet sassy wedding day outfits for brides to be who are looking for a fitted silhouette with a modern feel. Both looks are made from 100% silk and lovingly handmade in our London workshops especially for each and every bride.

Love story: Charlie and Mary Routh are Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It

The couple that volunteers together stays together. That is one secret of Charlie and Mary Routh's long lasting marriage. They celebrated their 70th anniversary in June with the theme "still having a hoot after 70 years." And, they are — the spark that started between them in 1945 is alive and well.

Charlie and Mary met in 1945 at a dinner arranged by friends from church. Mary, one of triplets, was home from Woman's College (now UNCG). The meeting was a success by all accounts and led to Mary and Charlie's marriage in 1947. "Mary's been feeding me ever since," Charlie, 90, said with a laugh. Mary's sister Marian married the pastor who attended the dinner.

Mary, 93, has the same feisty spirit she had as a young newlywed who insisted that Charlie get a college degree (he graduated from NC State with a bachelor's and master's degree in engineering). She was from a long line of educated women including her mother. Mary worked at the North Carolina Extension Service after their marriage while Charlie commuted between home and Maryland on weekends during his stint in the Army.

Time has curtailed some activities for the two nonagenarians but not as much as one might think. Charlie — known widely as "Mr. Fix-it" for his propensity to repair almost anything from clocks, televisions, radios, you-name-it — keeps busy fixing things, volunteering (145 trips with disaster-relief organizations) and golfing. Volunteer awards fill a wall in their Friends Homes at Guilford apartment including one from then Gov. Bev Perdue. "I like to be part of the solution and to be positive, not part of the problem," Charlie said.

Charlie and Mary have done so much volunteer work over the years at Friends Homes, including building an outdoor boardwalk and re-building a deck, that the on-site dining room is named in their honor. Charlie even has a repair shop on the premises. Mary also has a long history of volunteering and spent 20 years with Meals on Wheels and serving on various committees at Friends Homes. Her love for helping others led the couple to donate 45 acres of her family's land in Pleasant Garden to the town, now home to the community's town hall.

Mary credits their marriage success to a simple fact. "I go with Charlie when he volunteers; I don't stay behind" she said, smiling. "I have been asked if I was the cook on past projects. I always say no." She wields a mean hammer and has crawled underneath many buildings while helping Charlie install wiring.

Each has marriage advice to impart. "She lets me have the last word," Charlie said. "And, I always say yes ma'am." The couple also enjoys their longtime ritual of Mary greeting Charlie at the door each day. "At the end of the day, I sit on Charlie's lap and he tells me what he did all day," Mary quipped.

If the weather is nice, they head outside to eat and enjoy the scenery. You know the two are home when you see their matching his-and-her silver Lincolns parked side-by-side.

Lucy Hale Talks About Her Favorite Date, Love Life

Lucy Hale might be super busy between her career moves, hair changes, and everything in between, but that doesn't mean she isn't making time to keep dating on her radar. Newsflash: You can be committed to your career, and your love life too!

In a recent interview with Remix, Lucy Hale talked about what she looks for in a partner, and what her ideal date would be. "I think I'm at that point in my life that I only want to be around people that make me feel good. There's so much negativity in the world and you really have to make a call on how you view things and how you see the world," she said. "I always gravitate to people who have a positive outlook on life. People that are not judgmental, who have an open mind, people who have a strong opinion, but are still willing to hear other people out. I think you sort of attract what you are, and I feel like I'm at a pretty good place in my life right now."

A good place, indeed. And speaking more literally, she also shared her favorite date spot, which is unsurprisingly, Central Park, New York. "A great date was recently in New York when someone asked me to walk around Central Park with them one morning. I thought that was the sweetest thing because it was purely from them wanting to get to know me and for no other motive at all," she said.

But not every date she's gone on has been as dreamy as that one, which is totally normal to experience. "I've definitely hung out with people where I've been in a social setting and they were rude to the waiter or rude to someone, which is my biggest pet peeve," she revealed. "I've had instances where someone drank too much and I saw their true colors. Nothing too catastrophic has happened, though."

I love my husband, but I miss my obligation-free single life

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," my husband Ryan said as he laced up his sneakers and stuffed his wallet in his back pocket. His parents were due at our apartment at any minute, and I was still in my pyjamas, wrapped in a cocoon of bedsheets and duvet cover.

"Are you sure they won't mind?" I asked. Although I was relieved Ryan recognised that I needed a day off from his parents, who were visiting from out of town, I couldn't ignore the guilt souring my stomach. Before he could answer, I hit him with another question: "Are you OK with me staying home?"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" he said. "I'll text you later, and if you want, you can meet us for dinner." Ryan gave me a quick kiss before he dashed off.

I waited until I heard the lock click on our front door; then I exhaled. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy spending time with his parents. But after four years of marriage I was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the unwritten family obligations I suddenly felt pressured to fulfill - obligations that were a nonissue issue in my own dysfunctional family, especially when I was single.

Growing up, I was hardly capable of distancing myself from my alcoholic mother and the alcoholic she picked to be my stepdad. Together they built a life dominated by booze and violence, which extended well beyond the four walls of our humble home. Their wedding, my Holy Communion, nearly every Christmas and so many birthdays were marred by drama that usually put someone in the hospital or in handcuffs by the end of the night.

It wasn't until after my 8th birthday that I escaped the chaos and moved 30 minutes away to live with my dad and my stepmum, two people who appeared calm and collected to extended family and friends, but who were just as erratic and irrational as my mum and stepdad. Over the years, my dad spent more time in his garage getting drunk than he ever did talking to me, while my stepmum used every emotionally and mentally abusive trick available to twist my already mangled self-esteem into a knot. While living under their roof, I was constantly seeking a way out.

Shortly after I started university, my stepmum packed up her car and headed interstate to be with a lover she met online. After a few days, in her new life, she called to explain why she left. "It's just like you leaving for college," she said.

Initially, as I'd done so many times before, I tried to make her excuse sound rational in my head. But I just couldn't do it - and that's when I realised that I wouldn't have to do it anymore, if I didn't want to. Through my stepmum's affair, I found my way out from under the dysfunction that plagued my family. From that point forward, I gave myself permission to say "no" to any family member or gathering that would put my safety or sanity at risk.

Over the years, that would mean saying no to Christmas Eve dinners at my aunt's house, missing a grandmother's funeral and never again feeling pressured to sort out Mother's Day brunch reservations or flower deliveries. What at first felt taboo became a level of freedom that both boosted my confidence and gave me the space I needed to recover from decades of neglect and abuse.

Being single with complete control over when and if I spent time with my family meant that my life was obligation-free. If I wanted to spend Thanksgiving Day in my pyjamas eating Chinese takeout and watching season after season of Sex and the City, then that's what I did.

During that time, it never occurred to me that one day I'd meet and marry someone like Ryan who sends flowers on Mother's Day, shows up to celebrate his grandmother's birthday, and shuttles out to Long Island on Christmas to spend time with both sides of his family. For me, such events have always been optional. But for my husband, it's how he shows his family he cares.

Back at my apartment, later that night, I got a text from Ryan about dinner: "We're eating at GBK. You wanna come?"

After Ryan left that morning, I showered and slipped back into my pyjamas. I ordered sushi for lunch, I watched a season of The Trailer Park Boys on Netflix, and I contemplated making cupcakes.

Although my obligation-free single days were over, that didn't mean that I couldn't occasionally take a brief day trip back to visit my old life. So I picked up my phone and replied: "Nah, I think I'm in for the night."

My dad left, then my aunt told me he tried to seduce her - do I tell my mum

The dilemma My father left my mum, abruptly and with no warning, after 38 years of marriage. My mother’s sister, my aunt, recently confided in me that she never liked my dad after he, for lack of better words, made a pass at her many years ago on a family trip when I was a toddler. This has shattered me. Apart from my own sadness at having my dad’s sins confirmed, I’m extremely close to my mother and we keep no secrets. I know my aunt will never tell her the truth, but I wish she hadn’t brought me into it. I feel like I’m holding Mum back from truly moving on by keeping this from her, but I don’t want to expose her to yet more grief, and I also don’t want to deceive her.

Mariella replies It may not be news to her. As LP Hartley famously said: “The past is a foreign country,” and it’s surprising how alien it can be. It’s very unlikely that the history of your parents’ relationship since they first embraced is clearly divided into right and wrong, or the guilty and the blameless.

When someone departs after 38 years of marriage, the new life they embark on can come as less of a surprise than the secrets buried in their old one. When a couple crumbles, their long-shared intimacy is given a makeover. The entire relationship, from start to conclusion, is liable to be reshaped in the sad but seemingly inevitable propaganda war and apportioning of blame that follows the end of love.

Your aunt may have carried this secret with her for decades, or refashioned it to suit today’s more favourable environment, but either way, dumping it on your shoulders seems unfair. If she felt compelled to open her heart to anyone, it should have been her sister some time ago, not when the emotional harm is starting to heal. Using you as a go-between with a piece of unsubstantiated anecdote isn’t acceptable.

You can be sure of one thing and that is that this small betrayal is not the key to your mother moving forward – even if it is rooted in hard facts. The idea that she’ll leap for joy the minute she hears that your father tried to seduce her sister is really not credible. It would be most surprising if, over the decades, there hadn’t been transgressions, allowances made, blind eyes turned, to avoid what was easier not to see. I’m not talking specifically about adultery or condoning it and I’m certainly not absolving your father of his possible misdemeanours, just pointing out that in many ways being fed a variety of viewpoints and being left to work out if they were accurate, is worse than knowing.

Accepting that no union is perfect means overlooking small defects to focus on the bigger picture – and that is what happens in most long-term relationships. It’s perfectly possible that your father was a flirt and he may indeed have been a serial philanderer, but your aunt’s description of this past attempt at seduction is definitely not conclusive proof of either. I suspect your mum will have been more aware of your father’s failings than she shared with you and that her way of coping involved a degree of wilful blindness.

We may not like it, but we all have a flexible relationship to “truth”, defining it as a literal, tangible thing when it suits us and when it doesn’t we expand the parameters to allow plenty of wriggle room. In situations that don’t involve an outright lie, veracity gives way to stories that shift and change depending on our mood, our relationships and our interpretation of the actions of others. Your aunt has placed a weight on your shoulders, but context is important, too, and peering into deep jars when you can’t see the bottom reveals very little.

I’m sorry to hear about your father’s departure and particularly the abrupt and inexplicable nature of it. You should definitely try to have an honest conversation with him about that. Meanwhile it’s great that you are supporting your mother, but she needs to stand on her own two feet. You are her child, not her emotional support system. I’ve no doubt you are being torn in two in terms of your loyalties and I can only advise from my own experience that you should fight to stay as neutral as possible. Love is irrational, from elated beginning to bitter end, and you are not there to sit in judgment on your parents’ choices.

No matter what divisions exist between them, they remain your parents and you have the right to maintain healthy relationships with them both, not suffer lobbying from either side of the fence. Your aunt’s admission may have thrown light into the darkness or represent another twist in a tangled tale. Either way you need feel neither guilt nor responsibility, just sadness that the love that made you didn’t last the course.

Why I’m falling in love with Sean Spicer

I hate to admit it, but I think I’m falling in love with Sean Spicer. No doubt Donald Trump’s stocky, gum-chewing, sartorially challenged press secretary will strike many readers as an unlikely object of passion. But it’s hard not to get red-hot for a man capable of inspiring so much outrage among the most boring, self-important people in America.

As press secretary, Spicer’s only real job is to run the President’s daily press briefing, one of those bizarre, quasi-official American institutions — like the State of the Union address or the Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn — whose utility no one ever seems to question. It’s the closest thing we have to Prime Minister’s Questions, except that instead of, say, Bernie Sanders needling the commander-in-chief about unemployment figures or heath care, it’s a bunch of hacks talking to a PR man. During Obama’s time in office, the briefing always reminded me of that old cartoon where the wolf and the sheepdog enjoy a quiet lunch together — people who go to the same parties and pretend to cry at one another’s funerals asking niggling questions and feigning outrage over non-controversies.

For those of us who were allergic to school, even the format of the briefing is insufferable: bodies arranged in rows with hands raised, all of them having spasmodic muscular contractions at the idea of being given the opportunity to make some show-offy pseudo-point. The only difference is that there are no jocks, class clowns or even bullies: everyone is a nerd.

Like so much else in Washington, the briefing’s character has been altered, I hope forever, by Trump. What was once a boring tickle-fest for white liberals is now a kind of orgy of pouting and breathless self-aggrandisement. For the mainstream press, Spicer’s first offence was to install screens allowing him to take questions from reporters across the country: an agreeably egalitarian sop to the hard-working journos of places such as Fall River, Massachusetts. Even worse has been his lack of deference to national newspapers and cable TV channels in favour of Breitbart, LifeSiteNews and other dubious right-wing outlets. I suppose it’s all very dismaying if you’re the sort of person who thinks that asking whether a thrice-married serial philanderer who has appeared in a Playboy video opposes legalised contraception is a vital contribution to our national discourse.

As enjoyable as it is to watch Spicer work on television, the briefings are like Woodstock: you have to be there to get the full effect. The first thing you notice is that the briefing room itself, which used to be an indoor swimming pool before it was adapted by Nixon for the present purpose, is very small. Cynical as I am, I was astonished to realise that behind the chairs and the risers is a Keurig coffee brewer and a soda machine. Call me crazy, but this doesn’t look like ground zero in the war against fascism. (Would you accept a Pepsi from Hitler, much less pay him for one?)

Nearly all the chairs are assigned in advance by the White House Correspondents’ Association to very big names. The rest of us have to fight for our seats — and our lives. Outside of a combat zone you are unlikely ever to find people invested with a greater sense of purpose. They certainly have a very lofty conception of journalism’s role in safeguarding our cherished freedoms. If you don’t think the word ‘sorry’ can be uttered with contempt, much less deployed as an insult, you’ve clearly never heard April Ryan of American Urban Radio Networks snapping at another reporter who, having been called on by Spicer, dared to follow up on her question before April had decided she was finished. Nor is this frenetic and omnidirectional intensity restricted to the people asking the questions. A few weeks ago a colleague and I were nearly trampled to death by a monomaniacal cameraman.

‘Would you guys move? I’ve gotta feed this material!’ he shouted, as if the fact that we were composed of matter rather than pure spirit were an affront to press freedom.

‘OK, bud,’ I said, determined not to take any guff.

‘Don’t “bud” me, dude.’

‘OK, my dude.’

Half the fun is watching and listening in on other reporters. It reminds you of the difference between people for whom journalism is a vocation and those of us who simply fell into it. You’ll be standing there pretending to tweet or email, trying to decide whether you should go for another smoke — easier to do on the White House grounds than in almost any bar in the country — when suddenly a woman bites furiously at her granola bar, like Ozzy going after the head of a bat, without even ceasing to type. Then one of the old lore-stuffed would-be sages carrying nothing but a notebook and a pen will say, to no one in particular, ‘There was a time in this press room when at least somebody was carrying a flask.’

If the press briefing is a circus, the honorary ringmaster is Glenn Thrush of the New York Times, who has built his reputation on in-depth interviews with Hillary Clinton, eliciting such gems as, ‘Well, but fly on an airplane, the whole thing makes no sense to me. Does it make sense to you?’ Thrush’s trademark is his fedora, which he probably thinks makes him look like one of those haggard old newspapermen from the days when reporters were more or less perpetually sozzled. He must be one of the only people in America who can pace around holding his phone sideways saying, ‘Hey, can I kiss your ass for like two minutes?’ with a straight face.

In the presence of such exemplars it is possible, if you’re not careful, to end up feeling inadequate. Everybody seems to be so good at their jobs, so smooth, so confident with their icy, fact-enhanced contempt, whereas I can barely remember my wife’s birthday. How, I remember thinking at the last briefing I attended, was I going to come up with one of those appropriately cutting impossible-to-answer questions, with the requisite follow-up statistics about the number of secondary school boys in counselling because they were denied access to the girls’ bathroom?

The answer turned out to be that I just needed to start firing off text messages to friends and colleagues. One came back with: ‘Has there been any movement on appointing a new ambassador for international religious freedom? Is Ken Starr’s name still being floated?’ With its gasping urgency about an unimportant-sounding, perhaps even fake position that I and everyone else at the briefing, including, no doubt, Spicer, had never heard of, I considered that the perfect question. Too bad I wasn’t called on.

Vegan dating: The struggle to find love when you've ditched steak and cheese

The thought of totally ridding our diets of animal products, from creamy Brie to steak and milk chocolate, is enough to make some of us want to lie down in a dark room. But for committed vegans, the choice to ditch anything that cause harm to animals, the environment and your health is an easy one to make.

Still, that doesn’t make living in a meat-and-dairy-obsessed world any easier. And a vegan’s lifestyle choices trickle down to what they wear to who they love. It’s those people that vegan dating sites are here to help.

In the decade following 2006, veganism has gradually become a more mainstream lifestyle choice, prompting a 360 per cent rise in those giving it a go in the UK. But while the number of people dabbling in a plant-based existence has crawled upwards, the figures of those sticking to it aren’t quite so positive. Separate research in the US, where levels of veganism have also shot up, show that  84 per cent of people can’t commit to a life where they can’t indulge in a beef burger once in a while.

Adam Connett has been vegan for almost a decade. The 27-year-old, who works as a video manager for a digital advertising agency in London, says a partner being vegan is "important but not vital.

“I wouldn't say it's a deal breaker for me. But as it has somewhat of an impact on day to day choices it does make things easier if we're aligned from an ethical and dietary standpoint.”

Asked if he has ever sought out people who are vegan or vegetarian when dating, he adds: “Not directly but I'd say it probably does sway my opinion. It's another box ticked for me in terms of potential compatibility. If someone states they're vegan it's something you have in common and can talk about. Especially places to go to eat.”

As he had a long-term relationship with someone who ate meat, his veganism hasn’t caused problems in dating but he says it could “ limit potential date or restaurant choices. But if it was an issue for them we probably wouldn't even get to the stage of arranging a date.”

But the picture seems more complex for those who use vegan dating websites. “Many vegans consider ‘being vegan’ more than just eating a plant-based diet. A 'true' vegan has made the lifestyle choice to not use, consume or purchase any animal products, which makes it even more important to date someone with the same values and priorities,” says Jill Crosby Owner and CEO of the Green Singles vegan dating site.

“Being a vegan is more than just a way of eating, non-vegans can find it difficult to understand and oftentimes don’t want to make the compromises and or changes that their vegan partner has already made,” says Corby, who used to be vegan but is no longer.

“Vegans tend to be environmentally conscious, in general, and many have organic gardens and practice permaculture, recycle and reuse over contributing to the landfills, buy eco-conscious cleaning products, clothing, use solar and wind energy, drive electric or hybrid cars and or ride bicycles and use public transportation. The list goes on and on.

“It can be a stress point in the relationship and cause tension. Of course, if someone has a plant-based diet or is vegetarian, that can be a more conducive match then say an omnivore.”

But is veganism really the basis for a stable, long-lasting relationship? After all, being a vegan, unfortunately, doesn’t make a person infallible. And as Michael Carter, the president of the Passions Network dating empire which runs the Vegan Passions website points out that there is even wide variation in veganism itself. "There are members who were are vegetarian and who are trying to move to a completely Vegan diet. We have raw foodists, and fruitarians.

"As to the question of whether or not one might draw some conclusions about someone simply because they follow a ‘vegan diet’, the answer is definitely yes and no. As a group, vegans do tend to show more interest in activism and being eco-friendly, but on an individual basis, it is all over the map."

Still, data from the website shows that vegans tend to gravitate towards each other more than non-vegans and focus on being "eco-friendly" and actively seeking out other non-meaters, he adds.

Unsurprisingly, Crosby sees vegan dating websites as at least worth a shot for those looking for a compatible partner. One of her site’s most memorable successes are John and Lori..

“They both had separately written lists of the qualities and characteristics their ideal partner would possess. When they read each other’s profile, they recognised that each matched the other’s list. He was widowed with two children, she had never been married and happily joined his family when they married after dating for three years.” They later created a company which creates satirical videos about the environment.

“We’ve had couples write books, open retreat centres, teach workshops and do many amazing things as a result of finding each other."

What it's really like to be a female virgin in your thirties

As a nation of self-confessed bed-hoppers, we’re sleeping with more people than ever. But, while many of us are happy to divulge the number of sexual partners we’ve had, when it comes to confessing when we lost our virginity, nothing is more lied about.

On average, guys lose theirs at 16.9 while girls are slightly older at 17.4, but either way, people are starting to experiment with sex at a younger age.

In the 1950s, the average age was 21 but by 1980 it had already decreased to 17.

Alas, not everyone is ready to get in the sack as a teen. For others, it’s a bit more complicated.

We’re all familiar with the case of the 40-year-old virgin – from Channel 4 documentaries to Steve Carell’s performance in the eponymous 2005 movie – but, what’s it like for women who haven’t had sex until half way through their lives?

Writing for Thrillist, Rebecca Golden revealed that she didn’t lose her virginity until she was 35.

Having struggled with her body image, aged 33 and weighing in at 600lbs, Rebecca had gastric bypass surgery and at 34, a large amount of leftover skin removed.

It wasn’t until she hit 35 that, with her newfound confidence, she decided to enter the dating world.

Like many of us, Rebecca struggled at first to meet men that would become more than friends.

“I have a way of collecting straight guys who won't sleep with me,” she admitted.

But, not long after she met Stephen, the man she eventually lost her virginity too.

She didn’t tell him she was a virgin though explaining that at 35, there was just no template for talking about it.

But is there ever? It seems that losing your virginity in your thirties is just as rife with confusion as it is in your teens. Have they had sex before? Will it hurt?

These are all questions that anyone about to have sex for the first time will ask themselves, irrelevant of age.

After a brief fling and a consequential relationship of two years, Rebecca had learnt a lot – she had to have her hymen surgically removed, suffered the oddities of dating apps like Plenty of Fish and explored the boundaries of BDSM.

But, she admits that it wasn’t until she was 38 that she really experienced enjoyable, fun sex.

“Actually, I feel lucky there. Many women tell me that it took far longer for them, even though most of my friends started having sex at a “normal” age,” she said.

Waiting to lose her virginity wasn't without its difficulties but, it meant that Rebecca had time to understand what it was she wanted from a partner; she now knows that she likes nerdy, introverted guys who inspire her.

But, while she may have been having sex for nine years, she insists that it's not the be-all and end-all. After all, she's known her own mind forever.

“I date, but not as a way to create identity,” Rebecca insists.

“I almost never think about my first time anymore. But I do think about a future with love, where there's intimacy and sex and a shared life.”