A Tale of Love and Heartbreak

It's tempting to say that with the death of Amos Oz this morning at the age of 79, an era in Israeli history has ended. After all, Oz was the preeminent writer of the first Israeli generation to come of age after statehood. He was 9 years old in 1948 when the State of Israel was created, and he spent a lifetime writing about its people, its politics, and its institutions. His was the early Israel of Labor Zionism, sabras, and kibbutzim; many of his books explored the complexities of kibbutz life, starting with his debut, Where the Jackals Howl, in 1965. That Israel, of course, began to disappear long ago, and today it survives primarily as a myth. The death of Oz confirms rather than announces its passing.

Yet the fact is that Oz was only able to become the fictional chronicler of that Israel because he was not really a native of it. On the contrary, as he revealed in his great memoir A Tale of Love and Darkness, his actual upbringing was the opposite of the Zionist ideal in every respect. Far from being a son of the kibbutz, he was born to an intellectual, bookish family in a middle-class neighborhood in Jerusalem. Far from being a Labor Zionist, he was raised in a family whose politics were strongly right wing and Revisionist. Both tendencies coincided in the figure of his uncle, the renowned historian Joseph Klausner, whom Oz recalls in his memoir with pronounced irony and ambivalence. In addition to being a professor at Hebrew University, Joseph Klausner ran for president of the new state in 1949 as a representative of the Herut Party—the descendant of the prestate Irgun and the forerunner of the modern Likud.

For Oz, there was a close connection between the right-wing politics of men like his uncle—and of Menachem Begin, who cuts a comic figure in the memoir—and their bookishness. Nationalism, he suggests, is a fantasy of strength, and it appealed to weak people who lived in their minds, rather than in reality. The real Israel, the one he found on Kibbutz Hulda, was cherishable precisely because it was not an idea, but a fact, something achieved by real labor and compromise.

One of the most pointed stories in A Tale of Love and Darkness concerns the time the young Amos and his father tried to partake in the Zionist conquest of the Land of Israel, by planting a little patch of vegetable garden in their yard. Even this proved beyond their ability, however; the plants all died, and Oz's father had to sneak out, buy full-grown plants at a nursery, and place them in the garden, in order to keep his son from disappointment. The episode is meant to underscore that, even for Jews living in Palestine, Zionism could seem like a distant ideal—not to say an impossible aspiration, one whose achievement could only come about by cutting corners.

For Oz, leaving home at the age of 14 and joining Kibbutz Hulda, where he would spend the next several decades, was partly a reaction to his mother's suicide. But it was also a reaction against intellectuality and physical incompetence, which he sought to escape by plunging himself into the religion of work. Changing his name from Klausner to the Hebrew word for strength was a way of underscoring this transformation. It was as if he saw himself as a belated member of the Second Aliyah—the generation of idealistic Labor Zionist pioneers who came to Palestine before World War I and built the nucleus of the future state. Oz's parents fled Europe for Jerusalem, but it was up to him make aliyah all over again.

The contradiction between the reality of Israel and the myths of Zionism would remain a constant theme of Oz's work. One of the stories in his first book, "The Way of the Wind," concerns a young kibbutznik named Gideon who wilts under the strong personality of his father, one of the collective's founders. Hoping to finally win respect, he joins the paratroopers, the elite of the Israeli military. But when the time comes to jump from a plane near the kibbutz, Gideon's desire for attention leads him to pull his backup chute, so he will stand out from the other jumpers—with the result that he ends up hanging from a live power line, in deadly danger. It is a wonderfully concise parable of the plight of Oz's Israeli generation, forced to contend with a Zionist myth that both inspires and overwhelms them.

It was another interrogation of myth that first made Oz nationally known in Israel. After the Six-Day War, he was one of the moving forces behind The Seventh Day, a book of oral history that consisted of interviews with kibbutzniks who had fought in the war. They brooded about the contradiction between the high ideals of their upbringing and the brutality of war—and worried about the moral future of a Jewish state occupying a large Arab population. Oz was one of the founders of Peace Now, and a lifelong advocate for a two-state solution, for the same reason that he became a kibbutznik and a Labor Zionist in the first place—because of his respect for the reality of what Zionism had achieved, and his distrust of myths of strength and aggrandizement. Perhaps it took a master of fiction to understand that, in the end, it is the actual that is most precious.

After Robert Redford, could Clint Eastwood's retirement be next? 'I love what I do'

It's a pretty great year at the movies when a couple of legends like Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood are still entertaining crowds well into their 80s. Yet while Redford remarked that his latest, "The Old Man & the Gun," will likely be his acting swan song, Eastwood, 88, isn't hearing any of that retirement talk.

Asked if his interest in acting and directing is beginning to wane, Eastwood, whose new film "The Mule" is out Dec. 14, tells USA TODAY, "Maybe I just don't want a certain volume of work, but, no, it hasn't lessened. I love what I do."

In other words: Make his day, punk. He's not going anywhere.

"I'll probably keep on going. I feel good, but it depends on material. I probably wouldn't do something just because it was marginal – I have to kind of think it has some validity and has some relationship to today," says Eastwood, who mentions "Million Dollar Baby" and "Unforgiven" as two of his projects where "they're not necessarily problems of the day, but they have a certain dramatic appeal that is worth studying."

Eastwood is as efficient a filmmaker as ever: In a time when some directors take years to make a film, he prepped "The Mule" – in which he also stars an accidental drug courier for a Mexican cartel – in April and May before filming last summer and just putting the finishing touches on it earlier this month. He loves that he doesn't have dull moments in his career: "It has ups and downs, but it doesn't have a lot of monotony. When it gets monotonous, I think some people back away from it."

He does ponder why the prior generation of filmmakers he admired left the business early. "I wonder why Billy Wilder quit in his 60s, or did the business quit him? Or maybe he just didn't find enough good material," Eastwood says. "I knew Frank Capra in his later years socially a little bit and I always thought, ‘This guy is so bright. Why isn't he still doing it?' With a lot of other people, was it that their health went bad or did they just get bored with it? I often wonder, because I haven't gotten bored with it."

One aspect about performing in front of the camera that still appeals to him is the fact that he's always learning something. "In acting out somebody else's problems or adventures, it kind of brings out thoughts of how you would do it in real life or what your feelings would be about it to real life," Eastwood says.

He mentions his character in 2009's "Gran Torino," a racist Korean War vet who's negative about the world and other nationalities but ends up giving his life for his Asian immigrant neighbors. "Everybody thinks older people never learn anything – only school kids and young people," the filmmaker says. "Older people, if they keep their mind open, can be just as interested in improving and learning and new knowledge as they go along."

The law of attraction and how it affects your love life

I want a perfect partner! I want financial abundance! I want to be strong and healthy!

We all have desires. We want a life that is full and fulfilling.

The big question is: Are you a match to what you're looking for? If you want a partner who is kind, loving, caring, responsible and financially stable; go through your list and ask yourself: Am I kind, loving, caring and financially stable? The universe will deliver to you not what you want, but what you are.

Have you ever started the day annoyed with someone and found that the entire day was filled with annoying people or situations? The outer world is simply a reflection of your internal energy. Your internal energy is determined by your thoughts and beliefs.

If, when you were young, dad was always working and not around much; we form the belief that men are often absent. This belief creates a blueprint on a subconscious level about men.

Later in life you attract a man, feel a connection (because he matches your internal belief), get together and before long, he is frequently absent. If you're a man, living unconsciously, you would become like dad.

If, however, you choose to look at the role models in your life and question whether their behaviour was appropriate or not; you can now make a conscious choice to be a different person. You can choose to be present with your partner and family. This is conscious living and conscious choices.

So how much of your behaviour is driven by unconscious beliefs that you simply imbibed from other people? If you grew up believing in abundance – there is always plenty, then that belief serves you and doesn't need to be changed.

If you grew up surrounded by words and experiences of lack and poverty, and you're now experiencing lack and poverty, then you need to question these beliefs that are not supporting you; and consciously change it.

You start by looking at the abundance that already exists in the world. An abundance of air to breathe, nature is abundant; there are people with huge houses, fancy cars and thriving businesses.

The evidence of abundance is all around. As you begin to notice this and start believing that it is possible for you too, your internal picture changes and the world must reflect this change on the outside.

Guest Opinion: On Life and Love after 50 by Tom Blake

In the 24 years of writing newspaper columns about age 50-plus dating and relationships, there is a question for which I've never had a good answer.

What do unwed, older-than-50 couples call themselves?

I was reminded of that question last week by Mark Flannery of Fullerton, who emailed, "Donna and I have been together for eight and a half years. We were having lunch in Dana Point with Wally Horn and his partner of 30 years, Bobbi, and this question arose: ‘What do we call ourselves? Partners? Companions? Significant others? Boyfriend/girlfriend?'"

My partner Greta and I have been together for 20 years. We aren't married. I still find myself wondering how to introduce her. Often, "life partner" comes to mind. It's an OK term, but I still get a puzzled look from people who seem to be wondering what the heck a life partner is, or they think it's a lame explanation for why we aren't married.

Greta and I enjoy taking cruises. We always opt for open seating in the dining room, which means we are usually seated with different people every night. Frequently, table mates ask, "How long have you two been married?" Greta and I look at each other and one of us responds, "We've been together for 20 years."

It's easier to leave it that way than trying to explain that we are significant others or life partners or whatever we are calling ourselves at that moment.

When Greta and I would visit my mom in her retirement community in Santa Rosa, when we were out socially with Mom's friends, Mom would introduce Greta by saying, "This is Tom's Greta." That was her way of saying we were living together and not married, which she probably wasn't entirely thrilled about.

The fine folks at the Sea View Pharmacy in San Clemente know Greta and I aren't married. When I pick up my prescriptions there, they don't ask "Do you want your wife's prescriptions?" Instead, they ask, "Do you want Greta's prescriptions?"

In his email, Mark Flannery added, "Donna and I are a LAT (living apart together) couple. She is 69, still working, and lives in Irvine. I'm 71, retired and live in Fullerton. We go back and forth between the two cities a lot.

Our friend Wally is 84 and Bobbi is 75. They are both retired and have been together for almost 30 years. When we were talking about what to call ourselves, I floated an idea I've had for some time: "semispouse".

It received a favorable response from our foursome. It isn't perfect, but it seems to have qualities the other labels lack. The term is even included in the Urban Dictionary.

At first, I thought the "semispouse" term a little bizarre, visualizing a semi-truck driver with his wife riding with him in the cab.

I looked up the term in the Urban Dictionary. Its definition: "A significant other that plays the role of a spouse without being legally married."

And then I decided, when written, the term "semispouse" would look better with a hyphen inserted: semi-spouse.

While semi-spouse for unwed age 50 and older couples will work for now, still, I'm all ears to hear suggestions from readers for what to call mature unwed couples. Just don't call us, "Two old fogies living together."

Real life: I fell in love with the paperboy!

Melanie Tattersall, 41, from Chermside, QLD, shares her beautiful true life story;

I watched as Dad settled in to his favourite armchair and reached for his newspaper.

"Have I told you about my favourite paperboy, love?" he asked me.

"Yes, Dad," I smiled, rolling my eyes.

At 16, I couldn't remember an evening when Dad hadn't read the news.

It was his favourite pastime.

One of his fondest memories was of a boy that used to sell papers on the main road in Brisbane about 12 years earlier.

As soon as the boy spotted Dad's car, he'd dart across the intersection to make sure he delivered it before the lights changed.

"He was the best paperboy in town," Dad said. "I always gave him a tip."

He'd told me the story dozens of times.

Two years later, I moved in to a share house in Stafford, Queensland.

My mate Steve lived around the corner so I'd often pop over on weekends to hang out.

I was walking up the stairs to his house one day when I locked eyes with a good-looking bloke.

I felt giddy when Steve told me the guy, Paul, was his new flatmate.

"He's just split up with his girlfriend so he needs somewhere to live," he said.

Butterflies swirled in my stomach when Steve introduced us properly a week later.

Not only was Paul, 24, ridiculously handsome with his curly dark hair and olive skin, but he was down-to-earth and had a great sense of humour.

Given he'd just come out of a long-term relationship, I figured the last thing he wanted was a girlfriend!

One night, I was feeling brave after a few drinks when Steve offered to walk me home.

"I'd rather he did," I blurted out, nodding at Paul.

Thankfully, he agreed and we chatted and laughed all the way.

He looked shocked when we stopped outside my house.

"You won't believe this but I used to live here," he chuckled.

Turned out he'd rented my place the year before I moved in.

"What a coincidence," I laughed.

After that, the two of us became an item and moved in together the following year.

One day my uncles Andrew and Gareth popped round to visit.

They looked stunned when they laid eyes on Paul and he was just as shocked.

"It's you two!" he cried excitedly, shaking their hand. "I can't believe it."

Once they calmed down, they told me how they used to ride motorbikes and horses together in their teens.

Paul and I were thrilled when we welcomed our son, Corey, in to the world.

We went on to get married and had a daughter, Sophia.

We'd been together for 21 years, when one day we went to visit Dad and found him reading the paper in his chair.

"Have I ever told you about my favourite newspaper boy?" Dad asked us.

Not again, I thought.

I was about to stop him when Paul spoke up.

"I used to be a paperboy when I was 12," he said.

Watching them lock eyes, it was like they'd seen each other for the first time.

"It's you!" Dad cried, throwing an arm around Paul. "You were the best paperboy!"

I couldn't believe it.

My father had given my husband the tick of approval years before I'd even met him!

In fact, most of my family had.

Two years on, we still laugh about Paul being Dad's favourite.

We've had more coincidences in our 23-year relationship than most couples, but we think it's just a sign that we were meant to be.

Dad reckons so, too.

Julie Tan hits back after veteran actresses' spat casts spotlight on love life

A spat that erupted between veteran local actresses Pan Lingling and Hong Huifang on Monday has thrown former Mediacorp star Julie Tan's love life into the spotlight, prompting her to strike back against having her name dragged through the mud.

In an interview with Lianhe Wanbao published yesterday, the 25-year-old said: "My mother was heartbroken to see her daughter painted in such a negative light.

"No one deserves this kind of humiliation."

Hong, 58, recently severed ties with Pan, 49, via a lengthy WhatsApp text which was sent to around 50 of their mutual friends, highlighting three "thorns" which have plagued their friendship across two decades.

The breaking point came last month, when Pan allegedly commented on Hong's son, Calvert Tay, and his current relationship during a dinner with friends.

Tay, 18, was rumoured to be dating Tan.

According to the text, Pan recommended that Tay get vaccinated against sexually transmitted diseases as a precaution, given Tan's string of past relationships - one of which was with a foreigner.

Tan, who is furthering her acting career in China after leaving Mediacorp last year, told Lianhe Wanbao that she spent the whole day in tears when news of the spat broke.

"To the one talking s*** about me, you know what, f*** you. I used to respect you cause you're a 'qian bei' (Chinese for senior), but now sorry lost all respect," she fired back on social media platform Instagram.

Tan has since clarified that she and Tay are friends but are not dating.

She also expressed her gratitude towards Hong for sharing the truth and giving her the chance to speak out against this act of bullying.

"Women are already unfairly treated by society when it comes to love - women with numerous past relationships are shamed, while men with numerous past relationships are praised," she told Lianhe Wanbao.

"As a woman yourself, why would you worsen the situation for other women?"

Tan admitted that she is not as lucky in love as Pan, who married her first boyfriend, former actor Huang Shinan.

"I had to go through various experiences in order to better understand myself and find the right person," she said.

"Still, this new generation is courageous enough to accept the consequence of their actions.

"Hopefully our seniors can serve as good examples to us, by taking responsibility for their words and actions too."

Pan reportedly apologised in a phone call to Tan's mother yesterday morning.

In her latest comments on the spat, Hong said it is "not a war, so there is no winner or loser".

Guest Opinion: On Life and Love after 50 by Tom Blake

Is This Single Senior Woman Being Too Fussy in Dating Men?

Senior dating is challenging. Single seniors mention that to me often. It's particularly hard for women. A comment on my Finding Love After 50 Facebook page this week underscored how difficult for them it can be.

Barb stated that she was thinking of giving up on senior dating. She based her comment on experiences she's had with four men, which she shared. She asked if she was being too fussy.

Barb wrote, "I have been off and on dating sites since I was 60 and now I'm 79. One man I met online was an hour and a half away, we dated two months.

He wanted me to move in with him. I was in the middle of moving in with him, when he found out his daughter was getting divorced. He decided it was not a good idea for me to move in, because he was going to remodel his house and have his daughter and her two daughters move into his house.

Plus, he didn't like television so he wanted me to buy earphones to wear when I had my television on. Well, that was the end of that relationship.

The second guy I met invited me out New Year's Eve to a dance. He had a funny little step in his dance that was hard for me to catch onto. He kept telling me all night how well his ex-wife and he could dance together.

While walking me to my door, he put gum in his mouth, and in a minute, he said, "Oh my God, I just lost one of my teeth." Well that was the end of that man. I just saw him recently, which was a year later, and the tooth is still missing.

The third guy I met seemed nice and we had fun together. My sister lived near me. When her husband was dying, I went to be with her the night her husband was passing and this guy got upset and told everybody I gave him up for my sister. So that was the end of him.

A couple of weeks ago, I met a fourth man online. We exchanged messages. He asked for my email address so we could email instead of being on the dating site.

But I couldn't get to know him as all he talked about was that he had lost his wife five years ago to cancer. He wanted to meet a woman who would make his house a home and be his special woman. He wanted me to forsake all others to be only with him.

I tried to talk about the future and what it would be like if we got together. It always went right back to the kind of woman he was looking for and how he wanted her to be his own and love only him.

So now I'm giving up on trying to find someone. It's too hard. I think I would rather go it alone. It seems like I can't find anybody. I don't know maybe I'm too fussy. What do you think?"

I responded to Barb. "Too fussy? Certainly not with the experiences you described. However, I do think deciding to move in with the first man who lived an hour and a half away after only knowing him for two months was a rushed decision.

The second guy, the one with the funny dance step and the missing tooth, wasn't right for you. Any man who talks about how great he and his former wife could dance isn't tactful and doesn't get it.

And, not only was the third guy insensitive, he was a jerk for saying what he did, during the time your sister's husband was dying.

And finally, the fourth man, was self-centered and had no clue about what women want in a relationship. Besides, discussing having a future together with someone you've known for only two weeks is what I would call, ‘jumping the gun.'

So, Barb, you aren't being too fussy, and I don't think you should give up dating, but I do think you need to change the places where you are trying to meet men. You may be ‘looking for love in all the wrong places.' Perhaps, get out locally and attend social functions and network through friends—these options might work out better. Maybe that will make senior dating easier.

Life without your true love

Love is the most beautiful thing ever and if you have ever been in love, you will understand what I am saying. It makes you smile and giggle for no reason. It makes you break into different dance moves.

Love, that sweet feeling that makes your heart beat faster. It makes you feel like a child again. You are so happy with your love that you don't want to do anything to hurt them.

When you are in love with someone, you want to hold them, touch them, kiss them, make love to them and make them happy. You want to protect them and make their dreams come true. You do things without waiting for them to ask first.

Love is sweet. Love is beautiful. Love is sensual. Love is orgasmic. Love makes you high. Love leaves you fulfilled. Love makes you radiate with joy. Love brings you peace. If you have not fallen in love, you haven't truly lived.

This is why I don't understand why people end up with men and women they don't love. I don't understand why a man or woman would give up the love of their lives because of religion and family members.

How can you subject yourself to a lifetime of unhappiness and misery because you want to please family members? It's your life. You should be the one to decide who you want to spend the rest of our life with and not your relatives.

You can marry your love and make your relatives understand that you have taken the decision for both of you and your to-be-children or sacrifice your love for their sakes and cry for the rest of your life.

I heard a story about a young man who is living a sad life today because he allowed his elder sister dictate to him who he should marry. This man was in love with a beautiful, smart, hardworking and well behaved lady who was also head over heels in love with him.

They met in the University and became glued to each other throughout their University days. It was love at first sight according to him. He fell in love with her the first time he saw her. They shared everything together. They encouraged each other. They planned their future together.

They were happy. Their mates envied them. They became the reference point for other young lovers but they didn't see that they won't be together forever like they had planned. It took the elder sister of the young man to destroy everything they had built. They were condemned to a life of unhappiness afterwards.

After school, they both decided that it was time to get their families involved in their love story that lasted for five years. But that was when their problems started. The elder sister of the guy hated the girl for no reason. She told her brother that he won't marry that girl. And because she was his benefactor and the one who saw him through school, he obeyed her.

After pleading with her for some months to allow him marry the love of his life, he gave up. He sadly informed his love, the one his heart beats for that their dreams of being husband and wife won't be a reality. He told her he can't go against his elder sister's wish because she was like his mom.

He told her that she took care of them after their parents died. So, he has no choice but to do her bidding even if it means living miserably for the rest of his life. The situation broke the young lady's heart. She pleaded with him not to break up with her but his mind was made up.

Years after they broke up, the lady invited him for her wedding. They have been in contact even after breaking up. At her wedding, he broke down in tears. He cried seeing her holding another man lovingly and looking into his eyes. He cried listening to her make the same promise she made to him to someone else.

As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn't contain his emotions. He left during the church ceremony. He couldn't stand her marrying another man. He thought he was over her but when he saw her saying her wedding vows, his emotions took over. He was filled with regret. He regretted listening to his sister. He felt like a coward for not fighting for his love. It was clear that she was the love of his life.

At another time, he attended the wedding of their course mate in the university and saw her again, his mood changed. Before she arrived with her husband, he was in high spirits chatting with their other course mates but as soon as she stepped into the venue; his eyes welled up with tears.

He suddenly became quiet. His friends noticed what was going on and tried to cheer him. But he left after some minutes. He said he couldn't help crying whenever he sees his ex with her husband. He doesn't feel for his wife what he felt for her.

He has been married for seven years now and has three children but he's miserable. He said his wife has tried everything in her power to make him happy but she has not succeeded. He is also unhappy making her miserable because he doesn't love her as much as he loves his first love.

I feel for this man. It is not a pleasant thing to lose the love of your life not because they died but because someone said you can't marry them. You watch as they leave and build their lives with someone else while you live a sad life and continue hoping that one day, both of you will reunite and live out your beautiful love story.

Are you living with a man or woman you don't love? Do you still miss the love of your life?

How are you coping in a marriage with someone you don't love like your ex? What happens when you run into the love of your life? Do you start crying or become moody?

Do you silently wish that they divorce their spouses and come back to you? Do you regret not fighting for your love? Did you allow family members or religion keep you from ending up with the love of your love? If you didn't end up with the love of your life, how is your life now? Will you give up the love of your life for someone?

Finding life and love after World War II

FORT SILL, Okla. -- When D-Day arrived, Zitta Wilkinson's father, Johann Uhl, decided it was no longer safe for his family to remain in France, so he fled the farm that he had been ordered by the Germans to manage. He hid his children in the back of a wagon drawn by two horses he took from the farm.

Zitta said they traveled three days and nights back to Bavaria in November 1944. Their village in Badeutz, Romania, no longer existed after war tore through the area. Johann was careful to only travel by night and stay hidden by day.

"I saw dead Soldiers from different nationalities; they were stacked up like firewood," Zitta said. "But we were strong; we know we had a mission and had to get to Bavaria."

The family picked Bavaria as their new home because when they were placed in Strasperg Displaced Persons camp in Bavaria near Ausberg, Johann met Herr Drexel, a man who owned a bicycle shop. Drexel was perhaps the only friend he ever made since 1939 when they were plucked from their small town and forced into displaced persons' camps. When the family was forced to leave Bavaria in 1941, Zitta said Drexel told her father he and his family would always have a home with him if he decided to return.

Zitta was about 15 years old when they returned to Bavaria and during the trip, she said her family cried a lot. As she recounted the many stacks of dead bodies they saw during their escape to Bavaria, her voice broke and she began wiping the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

"I cannot believe human beings could do this to each other," Zitta said. "We came from a small town in Romania and everything was so quiet. We were Poles, we were Czechs, we were Russians; they were from all over and migrated to (Badeutz). The Jewish people were our good friends, but (Adolf) Hitler hated them."

For Zitta, the coming of age years had been robbed of her and she was forced to grow into adulthood early.

THE END OF WORLD WAR II

May 25, 1945 was Zitta's birthday. It was also a turning point for her family during the war. The Uhls had just settled down in Bavaria in the same area they camped in 1939.

"We had nothing," she said. "People in town gave us food and clothes."

Zitta described the area as quiet and peaceful, almost untouched by the spoils of war because there was almost nobody left in town. At every window, white linen hung high; a symbol of surrender and peace.

The same day, an American military vehicle transporting three Soldiers drove through the village to scout the area. She said the Soldiers were kind, but they were starving. The Soldiers made a hand signal to show that they were hungry, but all Zitta's mother had was a dirt floor, some cooking utensils and three eggs.

Out of goodwill, Zitta's mother Ludwicka cooked all the food they had. Then one of the Soldiers gestured a warning in sign language to the family saying if Ludwicka tried to poison the Soldiers, they would shoot all of them. But they did not, and instead they were grateful for the kindness and returned the favor by feeding the family when the rest of the American convoy came through the town and had their dining facility set up.

"They brought us food and years later, they brought their families," she said. Zitta was eager to learn how to speak English and got a job as a nanny for a young Army family.

During this time from 1946, the U.S. government supplied free nannies to Soldiers with dependents who were stationed in Germany, said Zitta's husband, retired Chief Warrant Officer 3 Richard Wilkinson.

Zitta began nannying for American military families when they moved into Germany. For Zitta, it was a fun experience because interacting with the kids enabled her to learn the language. In turn, the children learned German from her.

"I was 16 years old and let me tell you, I took up a job I knew I could handle," she said relating her tasks to her experience caring for her four younger siblings. Among all the kids she cared for, it was watching over Monty in 1950, who was 4 at that time, that changed her life.

Monty's parents were dual military and his father was a master sergeant. Back then, televisions in homes were still an uncommon phenomenon, so Monty's father would invite three of his Soldiers to his house to play pinochle. One of Soldiers, the master sergeant, invited was a 19-year-old sergeant named Richard Wilkinson.

"My god, he was so tall and so skinny," Zitta recalled.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

Richard remembered one of the first things Zitta said to him.

"She said, 'Man, that skinny guy there can really eat; he's really got an appetite,'" he said. That was the first time her noticed her and he couldn't help but think she was pretty.

"Honestly, I think I loved my wife from the first minute I saw her -- I really do," Richard said.

The two fell in love and and got married three years later on Dec. 25 in Nuremberg, Germany. Zitta was naturalized in 1954 in El Paso, Texas, while they were stationed at Fort Bliss.

During Richard's active duty service, he was often the only person in his unit who was the weapons expert. This required him to be gone often for long periods of time on quick reaction alert status.

Richard went on to serve 30 years and retired as a chief warrant officer.

"The biggest single thing in my heart that I know of: I worked hard, -- really, really hard -- and I had a very sensitive job," he said as his voice started to break. "But I knew in my heart that I could go home and my kids never missed a meal, never went to school without their hair brushed and their shoes and socks matching. They were taken cared of. That's a tribute to her (Zitta)."

Today, they have been married for 65 years and live in Lawton. They have raised six children together, and are now grandparents.

Highlighting a teenage love success story: Katie Coombs

On March 20th, 2015, a teenager named Adam Rogers appeared on a radio show promoting Kidscape Production. The radio show host was so impressed with his personality and drive that she asked what high school he attended. He was a senior at Galena and the host had a daughter that was a sophomore and casually asked him if he knew her. His face lit up. He had seen her but did not know her well. He politely asked if there was any way he could have her number and the host got permission first and before Adam left the station, he had her number.

They would begin talking that afternoon and within a few days had decided to go to prom together. This was the beginning of a love story. Kenzie has her own version of the events that unfolded. She was sitting in her Academics Success Class when her mom asked her if she knew who Adam Rogers was and if so, could she give him her number.  She was hesitant but decided to go for it. It turned out to be the greatest decision of her young life as she was just 16 years old. He officially asked her to be his girlfriend on March 27th, 2015. Kenzie was worried about the relationship going anywhere as Adam was just months from graduating and she still had two years of high school to complete.  Once he graduated, they decided to give it a try since he was staying local at the University of Nevada.

Adam was the first person in his family to go to college which in itself was very impressive. His hard work ethic was paying off and his desire to succeed was strong.  He balanced his studies with his relationship with his high school sweetheart and they realized they couldn't talk as much or see each other with the demands of college that Adam faced. Adam was adamant that they shouldn't give up and wanted to continue to try as there was love on both sides. They tried to make time for each other when they could, even if it was just 10 minutes at a yogurt shop to share a quick hug that would sustain them until their next meeting. He made the decision to support Kenzie's cheerleading squad and came to all of her football games to watch. He committed to going to all of the dances that are a special part of high school including Junior Assembly and Prom. Adam certainly felt out of place at high school events, but he wanted to support his girl and he did.

Once Kenzie graduated, things got easier as she moved close to campus and they were able to see each other much more often. They spent the summer before college started hanging out most days and taking lots of trips to the beach. Once school started, schedules got more complicated for both of them with work and school. They fought through that first semester with love and dedication but something more powerful was calling Adam. In a very emotional conversation, Adam told Kenzie that he had decided to sign up for the Air Force. It was his passion and of course it would mean his leaving Reno. They had time to spend together before he was scheduled to leave for boot camp and as the date approached, they spent all the time they could together.

Adam left for boot camp in the early morning hours on March 20.  Kenzie met him at the airport for one more last hug and kiss. Adam had brought a photo book she had made him for their second anniversary and handed it to her and said "I feel like right now you will need this more than me."  Adam will be gone for five months at the Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. When he returns, his future will be unknown as he could face deployment. He will not have the use of his cellphone until the middle of May so their love story now must be told in letters. There will an occasional short phone call home to Reno but there is no guarantee Kenzie will be available to take it with work and school. They will briefly see each other when he graduates from boot camp in May and then another long stretch until he returns home on Aug. 29. Kenzie told me it is only 162 days, but who's counting?

It is amazing to see young love full of trust and commitment. These two will go back to the days where love letters instead of texting will be the norm. They will both be different people when Adam returns and this experience will likely make their love grow stronger.  I have had the pleasure of watching all of this unfold as I am the radio host that met Adam Rogers three years ago and wanted to introduce him to my daughter, Kenzie Di Lillo. I never knew where it would go but they are an amazing example not just to people their age but to all of us. They have survived many roller coasters that would end most relationships and they have now embarked on one of the hardest rides yet. It will be the hard work and dedication that I first saw in Adam and I know my daughter possesses that will get them through. All throughout the United States, there are young couples facing these challenges as soldiers get deployed or young men begin their first hard steps at boot camp. They all deserve our support and love as they face the challenges of missing those that they love the most.

There's plenty for Legans to love in life's journey

Native Californian and new Eagles men's basketball coach is very fond of new home.

Even if his introduction to Eastern Washington University didn't have much of a welcome mat at the door, Eagle men's head basketball coach Shantay Legans has found plenty to love ever since.

Sure, there's the job, that as one of just over 300 such positions in the country.

But there's Legans also being in the right place at the right time to inherit a program with air in all its tires, a pretty good motor and plenty of gas in its tank. He earned the promotion last March 29 when Jim Hayford left Eastern for Seattle University.

A life-changing moment

But his best acquisition appears to be the family he found in Cheney when Legans met former women's basketball standout Tatjana Sparavalo. The couple was married in May 2014 and have a daughter, Zola Lee who arrived two years later in June 2016.

"I was lucky enough to meet my wife, Tatjana," Legans is quick to point out. "This has been the best place in my whole life."

However, turn back the clock a few years, and after he said yes to former EWU coach Kirk Earlywine's job offer, Legans had to maybe wonder just what he was getting into leaving his native California.

Legans got the job and then quickly learned how special a place Eastern was. Special in that there was little or no money to do even the most routine things - such as moving from California to Cheney.

"He hires me and says, 'Come on up," Legans said of Earlywine. "So you guys flying me up?" he asked? "No," his new boss said.

Ok, they're not flying him up? Next question, "When I get there do I get a car?" Likely you can guess the answer? "This isn't like Ray (Lopes) at Oklahoma or Fresno," Legans thought.

Next question, would Legans have an office? By now the answers were short, simple ond obvious.

"So I go, no office, no car, I gotta' drive up - I have a great big, huge SUV - gas guzzler, I waste all my savings driving up here," Legans said to himself.

Rationalizing the opportunity, it was the craziest thing, Legans said. He suddenly realized something he holds true to this day: "Eastern is special, everyone's working with what they've got," making it all work, Legans said.

The road traveled

Born in Ventura, Calif. on July 30, 1981, Legans graduated from Dos Pueblos High School in Goleta, near Santa Barbara. He was a league MVP and an All-California Interscholastic Federation selection, helping him land a scholarship and playing from 1999-2002 for the Pac-12 California Golden Bears.

Legans opted to play at Fresno State where he graduated in 2004. There he played for Ray Lopes. "It was a no-brainer for me because I think it hit me that I was not going to be an NBAer," Legans said.

The impact of that college coaching connection with Lopes was huge for Legans. The two first met when Legans was in fourth grade at the Boys and Girls Club in Goleta where Lopes was an aspiring coach on the up escalator.

When he arrived in Cheney in time for the 2009-10 season, Legans shared makeshift office space in the Red Reese Room with volleyball and women's basketball. It was a far cry from other places Legans saw along the way when he served with Lopes as a summer camps coach at Washington State and Oklahoma, where assistants actually had doors for privacy, refrigerators and TVs in their offices.

"I have a bathroom," was his takeaway in Cheney, Legans said. Nonetheless, "It was a great experience, one of the best years I ever had," he added.

A turning point

The same can't be said for the time following the 2010-11 season when Earlywine's contract was not renewed and Legans' future was uncertain at best.

As Legans prepared his resume and began casting his hook out to see if he'd catch another opportunity, wondered where that might be was a mystery and anyone's guess.

When Hayford, the former Whitworth University coach was hired, one of his first stops in Cheney was at Legans office, now with a door and window. "What are you thinking about doing" Legans recalled of his first meeting with the new coach.

Legans had no answers at that particular moment, but it didn't take long to prove himself. "He says you know the guys and can you do a scouting report?" Legans said were his orders.

Three hours later Legans was invited to dinner at a Mexican restaurant to discuss the future in Cheney. It wasn't long before Legans was elevated to the associate head coach role where he had served the past three seasons

That proved to be one of those "What if" moments; what if he had picked up after Earlywine's departure and moved?

Planning the future

"When I was coaching I was not thinking about anything but that," Legans said when discussing his life-changing moment meeting Sparavalo, who was just finishing up both bachelors and masters degrees in just four years.

His wife getting a job at I-Tron was the right timing Legans said. Otherwise, Sparavalo, a 2011 EWU grad, intended to play professional ball in Europe, perhaps in her home country of Serbia.

"You think you have a hard critic?" Legans said. "No one's as hard as my wife."

"Tatjana, win, lose or draw, always has something to say," Legans adds, admitting she not only speaks the truth, but does so from having walked the walk as a Division I basketball player.

"(Coaching) was just something I always saw myself at," Legans said, dating back to high school where he worked at the Goleta Boy's Club, outside Santa Barbara, Calif. It's the same club that Ben Howland of UCLA fame began his career under Sal Rodriguez, a legendary coach there.

Because of his accomplishments at Goleta, Legans was inducted into the Santa Barbara Court of Champions in 2016, joining a group that includes basketball legends Jerry West, Jamaal Wilkes and Howland.

But it was with the help of his wife that got the head coaching wheels turning in her husband's head.

The two would sometimes sit up late into the night and make lists. "Who would you bring on as assistants, who would you do this with?" Legans said. "It was so annoying, her asking me all these questions, questions I never thought about."

So far so good

The Eagles sit at 4-3 as the Big Sky Conference campaign reaches the halfway mark. They are 9-11 overall going into a game tonight against North Dakota (6:05 p.m.) and Saturday when they host Northern Colorado for a 2:05 p.m. tipoff.

"I think we've been the better team about three of those games and lost," Legans said. They were the better team in a Nov. 14 win, 67-61 at Pac-12 Stanford, his bitter rival while at Cal.

He also learned not to take that Stanford win extra high, nor a Dec. 12 Wyoming loss, 93-88 on Dec. 12 in Laramie way too low. "You've got to be steady," Legans said.

That's a mantra he said came from former EWU football coach Beau Baldwin, whom Legans has the utmost respect.

He hints that he'd like to be the same change-agent Baldwin was with football and the one who finally takes Eastern's program to a prominent place in the local basketball food chain.

Legans has found in more ways than one that Eastern and the Inland Northwest are an easy place with which to fall in love. "I wouldn't mind being here a long time," he said.