Life without your true love

Love is the most beautiful thing ever and if you have ever been in love, you will understand what I am saying. It makes you smile and giggle for no reason. It makes you break into different dance moves.

Love, that sweet feeling that makes your heart beat faster. It makes you feel like a child again. You are so happy with your love that you don't want to do anything to hurt them.

When you are in love with someone, you want to hold them, touch them, kiss them, make love to them and make them happy. You want to protect them and make their dreams come true. You do things without waiting for them to ask first.

Love is sweet. Love is beautiful. Love is sensual. Love is orgasmic. Love makes you high. Love leaves you fulfilled. Love makes you radiate with joy. Love brings you peace. If you have not fallen in love, you haven't truly lived.

This is why I don't understand why people end up with men and women they don't love. I don't understand why a man or woman would give up the love of their lives because of religion and family members.

How can you subject yourself to a lifetime of unhappiness and misery because you want to please family members? It's your life. You should be the one to decide who you want to spend the rest of our life with and not your relatives.

You can marry your love and make your relatives understand that you have taken the decision for both of you and your to-be-children or sacrifice your love for their sakes and cry for the rest of your life.

I heard a story about a young man who is living a sad life today because he allowed his elder sister dictate to him who he should marry. This man was in love with a beautiful, smart, hardworking and well behaved lady who was also head over heels in love with him.

They met in the University and became glued to each other throughout their University days. It was love at first sight according to him. He fell in love with her the first time he saw her. They shared everything together. They encouraged each other. They planned their future together.

They were happy. Their mates envied them. They became the reference point for other young lovers but they didn't see that they won't be together forever like they had planned. It took the elder sister of the young man to destroy everything they had built. They were condemned to a life of unhappiness afterwards.

After school, they both decided that it was time to get their families involved in their love story that lasted for five years. But that was when their problems started. The elder sister of the guy hated the girl for no reason. She told her brother that he won't marry that girl. And because she was his benefactor and the one who saw him through school, he obeyed her.

After pleading with her for some months to allow him marry the love of his life, he gave up. He sadly informed his love, the one his heart beats for that their dreams of being husband and wife won't be a reality. He told her he can't go against his elder sister's wish because she was like his mom.

He told her that she took care of them after their parents died. So, he has no choice but to do her bidding even if it means living miserably for the rest of his life. The situation broke the young lady's heart. She pleaded with him not to break up with her but his mind was made up.

Years after they broke up, the lady invited him for her wedding. They have been in contact even after breaking up. At her wedding, he broke down in tears. He cried seeing her holding another man lovingly and looking into his eyes. He cried listening to her make the same promise she made to him to someone else.

As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn't contain his emotions. He left during the church ceremony. He couldn't stand her marrying another man. He thought he was over her but when he saw her saying her wedding vows, his emotions took over. He was filled with regret. He regretted listening to his sister. He felt like a coward for not fighting for his love. It was clear that she was the love of his life.

At another time, he attended the wedding of their course mate in the university and saw her again, his mood changed. Before she arrived with her husband, he was in high spirits chatting with their other course mates but as soon as she stepped into the venue; his eyes welled up with tears.

He suddenly became quiet. His friends noticed what was going on and tried to cheer him. But he left after some minutes. He said he couldn't help crying whenever he sees his ex with her husband. He doesn't feel for his wife what he felt for her.

He has been married for seven years now and has three children but he's miserable. He said his wife has tried everything in her power to make him happy but she has not succeeded. He is also unhappy making her miserable because he doesn't love her as much as he loves his first love.

I feel for this man. It is not a pleasant thing to lose the love of your life not because they died but because someone said you can't marry them. You watch as they leave and build their lives with someone else while you live a sad life and continue hoping that one day, both of you will reunite and live out your beautiful love story.

Are you living with a man or woman you don't love? Do you still miss the love of your life?

How are you coping in a marriage with someone you don't love like your ex? What happens when you run into the love of your life? Do you start crying or become moody?

Do you silently wish that they divorce their spouses and come back to you? Do you regret not fighting for your love? Did you allow family members or religion keep you from ending up with the love of your love? If you didn't end up with the love of your life, how is your life now? Will you give up the love of your life for someone?

Finding life and love after World War II

FORT SILL, Okla. -- When D-Day arrived, Zitta Wilkinson's father, Johann Uhl, decided it was no longer safe for his family to remain in France, so he fled the farm that he had been ordered by the Germans to manage. He hid his children in the back of a wagon drawn by two horses he took from the farm.

Zitta said they traveled three days and nights back to Bavaria in November 1944. Their village in Badeutz, Romania, no longer existed after war tore through the area. Johann was careful to only travel by night and stay hidden by day.

"I saw dead Soldiers from different nationalities; they were stacked up like firewood," Zitta said. "But we were strong; we know we had a mission and had to get to Bavaria."

The family picked Bavaria as their new home because when they were placed in Strasperg Displaced Persons camp in Bavaria near Ausberg, Johann met Herr Drexel, a man who owned a bicycle shop. Drexel was perhaps the only friend he ever made since 1939 when they were plucked from their small town and forced into displaced persons' camps. When the family was forced to leave Bavaria in 1941, Zitta said Drexel told her father he and his family would always have a home with him if he decided to return.

Zitta was about 15 years old when they returned to Bavaria and during the trip, she said her family cried a lot. As she recounted the many stacks of dead bodies they saw during their escape to Bavaria, her voice broke and she began wiping the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

"I cannot believe human beings could do this to each other," Zitta said. "We came from a small town in Romania and everything was so quiet. We were Poles, we were Czechs, we were Russians; they were from all over and migrated to (Badeutz). The Jewish people were our good friends, but (Adolf) Hitler hated them."

For Zitta, the coming of age years had been robbed of her and she was forced to grow into adulthood early.

THE END OF WORLD WAR II

May 25, 1945 was Zitta's birthday. It was also a turning point for her family during the war. The Uhls had just settled down in Bavaria in the same area they camped in 1939.

"We had nothing," she said. "People in town gave us food and clothes."

Zitta described the area as quiet and peaceful, almost untouched by the spoils of war because there was almost nobody left in town. At every window, white linen hung high; a symbol of surrender and peace.

The same day, an American military vehicle transporting three Soldiers drove through the village to scout the area. She said the Soldiers were kind, but they were starving. The Soldiers made a hand signal to show that they were hungry, but all Zitta's mother had was a dirt floor, some cooking utensils and three eggs.

Out of goodwill, Zitta's mother Ludwicka cooked all the food they had. Then one of the Soldiers gestured a warning in sign language to the family saying if Ludwicka tried to poison the Soldiers, they would shoot all of them. But they did not, and instead they were grateful for the kindness and returned the favor by feeding the family when the rest of the American convoy came through the town and had their dining facility set up.

"They brought us food and years later, they brought their families," she said. Zitta was eager to learn how to speak English and got a job as a nanny for a young Army family.

During this time from 1946, the U.S. government supplied free nannies to Soldiers with dependents who were stationed in Germany, said Zitta's husband, retired Chief Warrant Officer 3 Richard Wilkinson.

Zitta began nannying for American military families when they moved into Germany. For Zitta, it was a fun experience because interacting with the kids enabled her to learn the language. In turn, the children learned German from her.

"I was 16 years old and let me tell you, I took up a job I knew I could handle," she said relating her tasks to her experience caring for her four younger siblings. Among all the kids she cared for, it was watching over Monty in 1950, who was 4 at that time, that changed her life.

Monty's parents were dual military and his father was a master sergeant. Back then, televisions in homes were still an uncommon phenomenon, so Monty's father would invite three of his Soldiers to his house to play pinochle. One of Soldiers, the master sergeant, invited was a 19-year-old sergeant named Richard Wilkinson.

"My god, he was so tall and so skinny," Zitta recalled.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

Richard remembered one of the first things Zitta said to him.

"She said, 'Man, that skinny guy there can really eat; he's really got an appetite,'" he said. That was the first time her noticed her and he couldn't help but think she was pretty.

"Honestly, I think I loved my wife from the first minute I saw her -- I really do," Richard said.

The two fell in love and and got married three years later on Dec. 25 in Nuremberg, Germany. Zitta was naturalized in 1954 in El Paso, Texas, while they were stationed at Fort Bliss.

During Richard's active duty service, he was often the only person in his unit who was the weapons expert. This required him to be gone often for long periods of time on quick reaction alert status.

Richard went on to serve 30 years and retired as a chief warrant officer.

"The biggest single thing in my heart that I know of: I worked hard, -- really, really hard -- and I had a very sensitive job," he said as his voice started to break. "But I knew in my heart that I could go home and my kids never missed a meal, never went to school without their hair brushed and their shoes and socks matching. They were taken cared of. That's a tribute to her (Zitta)."

Today, they have been married for 65 years and live in Lawton. They have raised six children together, and are now grandparents.

Highlighting a teenage love success story: Katie Coombs

On March 20th, 2015, a teenager named Adam Rogers appeared on a radio show promoting Kidscape Production. The radio show host was so impressed with his personality and drive that she asked what high school he attended. He was a senior at Galena and the host had a daughter that was a sophomore and casually asked him if he knew her. His face lit up. He had seen her but did not know her well. He politely asked if there was any way he could have her number and the host got permission first and before Adam left the station, he had her number.

They would begin talking that afternoon and within a few days had decided to go to prom together. This was the beginning of a love story. Kenzie has her own version of the events that unfolded. She was sitting in her Academics Success Class when her mom asked her if she knew who Adam Rogers was and if so, could she give him her number.  She was hesitant but decided to go for it. It turned out to be the greatest decision of her young life as she was just 16 years old. He officially asked her to be his girlfriend on March 27th, 2015. Kenzie was worried about the relationship going anywhere as Adam was just months from graduating and she still had two years of high school to complete.  Once he graduated, they decided to give it a try since he was staying local at the University of Nevada.

Adam was the first person in his family to go to college which in itself was very impressive. His hard work ethic was paying off and his desire to succeed was strong.  He balanced his studies with his relationship with his high school sweetheart and they realized they couldn't talk as much or see each other with the demands of college that Adam faced. Adam was adamant that they shouldn't give up and wanted to continue to try as there was love on both sides. They tried to make time for each other when they could, even if it was just 10 minutes at a yogurt shop to share a quick hug that would sustain them until their next meeting. He made the decision to support Kenzie's cheerleading squad and came to all of her football games to watch. He committed to going to all of the dances that are a special part of high school including Junior Assembly and Prom. Adam certainly felt out of place at high school events, but he wanted to support his girl and he did.

Once Kenzie graduated, things got easier as she moved close to campus and they were able to see each other much more often. They spent the summer before college started hanging out most days and taking lots of trips to the beach. Once school started, schedules got more complicated for both of them with work and school. They fought through that first semester with love and dedication but something more powerful was calling Adam. In a very emotional conversation, Adam told Kenzie that he had decided to sign up for the Air Force. It was his passion and of course it would mean his leaving Reno. They had time to spend together before he was scheduled to leave for boot camp and as the date approached, they spent all the time they could together.

Adam left for boot camp in the early morning hours on March 20.  Kenzie met him at the airport for one more last hug and kiss. Adam had brought a photo book she had made him for their second anniversary and handed it to her and said "I feel like right now you will need this more than me."  Adam will be gone for five months at the Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. When he returns, his future will be unknown as he could face deployment. He will not have the use of his cellphone until the middle of May so their love story now must be told in letters. There will an occasional short phone call home to Reno but there is no guarantee Kenzie will be available to take it with work and school. They will briefly see each other when he graduates from boot camp in May and then another long stretch until he returns home on Aug. 29. Kenzie told me it is only 162 days, but who's counting?

It is amazing to see young love full of trust and commitment. These two will go back to the days where love letters instead of texting will be the norm. They will both be different people when Adam returns and this experience will likely make their love grow stronger.  I have had the pleasure of watching all of this unfold as I am the radio host that met Adam Rogers three years ago and wanted to introduce him to my daughter, Kenzie Di Lillo. I never knew where it would go but they are an amazing example not just to people their age but to all of us. They have survived many roller coasters that would end most relationships and they have now embarked on one of the hardest rides yet. It will be the hard work and dedication that I first saw in Adam and I know my daughter possesses that will get them through. All throughout the United States, there are young couples facing these challenges as soldiers get deployed or young men begin their first hard steps at boot camp. They all deserve our support and love as they face the challenges of missing those that they love the most.

There's plenty for Legans to love in life's journey

Native Californian and new Eagles men's basketball coach is very fond of new home.

Even if his introduction to Eastern Washington University didn't have much of a welcome mat at the door, Eagle men's head basketball coach Shantay Legans has found plenty to love ever since.

Sure, there's the job, that as one of just over 300 such positions in the country.

But there's Legans also being in the right place at the right time to inherit a program with air in all its tires, a pretty good motor and plenty of gas in its tank. He earned the promotion last March 29 when Jim Hayford left Eastern for Seattle University.

A life-changing moment

But his best acquisition appears to be the family he found in Cheney when Legans met former women's basketball standout Tatjana Sparavalo. The couple was married in May 2014 and have a daughter, Zola Lee who arrived two years later in June 2016.

"I was lucky enough to meet my wife, Tatjana," Legans is quick to point out. "This has been the best place in my whole life."

However, turn back the clock a few years, and after he said yes to former EWU coach Kirk Earlywine's job offer, Legans had to maybe wonder just what he was getting into leaving his native California.

Legans got the job and then quickly learned how special a place Eastern was. Special in that there was little or no money to do even the most routine things - such as moving from California to Cheney.

"He hires me and says, 'Come on up," Legans said of Earlywine. "So you guys flying me up?" he asked? "No," his new boss said.

Ok, they're not flying him up? Next question, "When I get there do I get a car?" Likely you can guess the answer? "This isn't like Ray (Lopes) at Oklahoma or Fresno," Legans thought.

Next question, would Legans have an office? By now the answers were short, simple ond obvious.

"So I go, no office, no car, I gotta' drive up - I have a great big, huge SUV - gas guzzler, I waste all my savings driving up here," Legans said to himself.

Rationalizing the opportunity, it was the craziest thing, Legans said. He suddenly realized something he holds true to this day: "Eastern is special, everyone's working with what they've got," making it all work, Legans said.

The road traveled

Born in Ventura, Calif. on July 30, 1981, Legans graduated from Dos Pueblos High School in Goleta, near Santa Barbara. He was a league MVP and an All-California Interscholastic Federation selection, helping him land a scholarship and playing from 1999-2002 for the Pac-12 California Golden Bears.

Legans opted to play at Fresno State where he graduated in 2004. There he played for Ray Lopes. "It was a no-brainer for me because I think it hit me that I was not going to be an NBAer," Legans said.

The impact of that college coaching connection with Lopes was huge for Legans. The two first met when Legans was in fourth grade at the Boys and Girls Club in Goleta where Lopes was an aspiring coach on the up escalator.

When he arrived in Cheney in time for the 2009-10 season, Legans shared makeshift office space in the Red Reese Room with volleyball and women's basketball. It was a far cry from other places Legans saw along the way when he served with Lopes as a summer camps coach at Washington State and Oklahoma, where assistants actually had doors for privacy, refrigerators and TVs in their offices.

"I have a bathroom," was his takeaway in Cheney, Legans said. Nonetheless, "It was a great experience, one of the best years I ever had," he added.

A turning point

The same can't be said for the time following the 2010-11 season when Earlywine's contract was not renewed and Legans' future was uncertain at best.

As Legans prepared his resume and began casting his hook out to see if he'd catch another opportunity, wondered where that might be was a mystery and anyone's guess.

When Hayford, the former Whitworth University coach was hired, one of his first stops in Cheney was at Legans office, now with a door and window. "What are you thinking about doing" Legans recalled of his first meeting with the new coach.

Legans had no answers at that particular moment, but it didn't take long to prove himself. "He says you know the guys and can you do a scouting report?" Legans said were his orders.

Three hours later Legans was invited to dinner at a Mexican restaurant to discuss the future in Cheney. It wasn't long before Legans was elevated to the associate head coach role where he had served the past three seasons

That proved to be one of those "What if" moments; what if he had picked up after Earlywine's departure and moved?

Planning the future

"When I was coaching I was not thinking about anything but that," Legans said when discussing his life-changing moment meeting Sparavalo, who was just finishing up both bachelors and masters degrees in just four years.

His wife getting a job at I-Tron was the right timing Legans said. Otherwise, Sparavalo, a 2011 EWU grad, intended to play professional ball in Europe, perhaps in her home country of Serbia.

"You think you have a hard critic?" Legans said. "No one's as hard as my wife."

"Tatjana, win, lose or draw, always has something to say," Legans adds, admitting she not only speaks the truth, but does so from having walked the walk as a Division I basketball player.

"(Coaching) was just something I always saw myself at," Legans said, dating back to high school where he worked at the Goleta Boy's Club, outside Santa Barbara, Calif. It's the same club that Ben Howland of UCLA fame began his career under Sal Rodriguez, a legendary coach there.

Because of his accomplishments at Goleta, Legans was inducted into the Santa Barbara Court of Champions in 2016, joining a group that includes basketball legends Jerry West, Jamaal Wilkes and Howland.

But it was with the help of his wife that got the head coaching wheels turning in her husband's head.

The two would sometimes sit up late into the night and make lists. "Who would you bring on as assistants, who would you do this with?" Legans said. "It was so annoying, her asking me all these questions, questions I never thought about."

So far so good

The Eagles sit at 4-3 as the Big Sky Conference campaign reaches the halfway mark. They are 9-11 overall going into a game tonight against North Dakota (6:05 p.m.) and Saturday when they host Northern Colorado for a 2:05 p.m. tipoff.

"I think we've been the better team about three of those games and lost," Legans said. They were the better team in a Nov. 14 win, 67-61 at Pac-12 Stanford, his bitter rival while at Cal.

He also learned not to take that Stanford win extra high, nor a Dec. 12 Wyoming loss, 93-88 on Dec. 12 in Laramie way too low. "You've got to be steady," Legans said.

That's a mantra he said came from former EWU football coach Beau Baldwin, whom Legans has the utmost respect.

He hints that he'd like to be the same change-agent Baldwin was with football and the one who finally takes Eastern's program to a prominent place in the local basketball food chain.

Legans has found in more ways than one that Eastern and the Inland Northwest are an easy place with which to fall in love. "I wouldn't mind being here a long time," he said.

Bill Yoh, celebrating 100 years of life and love

Born in the age of rumble seats, ice boxes, and boys' knickers, Bill Yoh has seen and experienced an enormous number of changes in the world over the past 100 years. Yoh will officially become a centenarian on Dec. 19, 2017. Born in rural Pennsylvania, and residing in Philadelphia for most of the first two-thirds of his life, Yoh has called Niwot his home since 1984 - over 33 years ago.

It was a snowy winter day in Eureka, PA, when Yoh's mother went into labor. As if the urgency of the situation wasn't concerning enough, Bill Yoh was accompanied by a twin brother, Bob, and neither of them were able to wait for their father to return with a doctor to assist with their delivery. Home alone, their mother gave birth to the pair.

While Yoh will say the secret to his longevity has been a healthy dose of of shoo-fly pie and scrapple, one could argue that the magic ingredient has been a lifetime of family love. From the way his parents met and became an instant pair, to the courting and commitment between Yoh and his wife Becky, to relocating to Colorado in order to be together with family, there's a certainty and bond that surrounds him and his loved ones.

Yoh delights in the retelling of his family history and the story of his parents' first encounter is especially poignant to him. Yoh's mother and father met at a college football game, when his father looked up in the stands and spotted his sweetheart for the first time. His father didn't waste any time that day. He walked up to her, introduced himself as the captain of the Ursinus College football team and then proceeded to invite her to a dance that night. And that is what leads Yoh to say, "If it weren't for football, I wouldn't have been born."

And with those beginnings, of course his love of the sport was clinched. He is an enthusiastic supporter of the game to this day, watching as much as possible. His caregiver, Pam Dinkfelt, records every televised game for viewing at his leisure. His favorite professional team harkens back to his childhood days - the Philadelphia Eagles, and his favorite college teams are predictably, Penn State, and as a tribute to his and his father's alma mater, Ursinus College.

Yoh's story of meeting his own wife also holds a measure of randomness and inevitability. Yoh's father was a minister who asked eight young women in his congregation to buoy the spirits of their hometown soldiers during WWII by writing letters to them. Each of the women drew the name of a soldier arbitrarily and one of them chose Rev. Yoh's son Bill, who was stationed state-side as a clerk typist in the Air Corps.

Becky's letters to him began casually, but bloomed into a romance that unfolded over a year of corresponding. Only three face-to-face dates later, the two decided to marry. They had a daughter named Christine, who sadly passed away as an infant. After several miscarriages, their son Paul was born. Their next child, Rachel, was chosen by three-year-old Paul, Yoh said. At four months old, "She was picked up by Paul who declared, ‘We're taking her home!'" when they went to meet her.

Yoh worked in the hotel industry for a while, but spent 30 years working for C&D Batteries. Paul was the first in the family to move from Pennsylvania to Colorado. After Paul had children of his own here, the then-retired Yoh and his wife headed west to join them. Paul chose the renovated former elementary school on Niwot Road for his mother and father to live in, and they moved in based on his recommendation alone, never having seen it in person before.

Yoh has five grandchildren and two great grandchildren; Myla, six years old and Abby, six months old. Becky passed away in 1993 and was buried in the Niwot Cemetery. Yoh wears her wedding ring (enlarged to fit his finger) next to his band and closest to his heart to symbolize their eternal bond. He wants to be cremated and have his ashes combined with hers so they can be together forever.

Son Paul recalled a moment that exemplifies his dad's love. "I was winning my first two-mile race at a track meet and I could hear my Dad rooting me on loud and clear! He was always there." And Rachel said of Yoh's steadfast paternalism, "Dad and I would go for walks in the woods and I always had a zillion questions, . . . and he always had a zillion answers."

At his admirably mature age, he continues to keep his brain busy with his lifelong passion of stamp collecting. Devotedly working on his collection, he fills books with pre-cancelled and topical (thematic) stamps and includes in-depth information on the places they're from and the origins of each stamp. His eyes aren't quite as good as they used to be, so he uses a large screen magnifier to get an up-close view of each stamp.

"Stamps are history" Yoh said. He continues to attend monthly meetings of the Boulder Stamp Club. While he likes to say he "stole" his first stamp from a letter sent to his father by a woman doing missionary work in China, he still searches out and acquires stamps from many sources, including eBay these days.

Yoh's passion for history goes further back in time and led to him become a paleontology and arrowhead buff. His labeled fossil and arrowhead collections are frame-worthy. Yoh recalled a particularly memorable trip to the UK with Becky in the summer of 1974, where they learned about prehistoric man at the University of North Wales and visited Stonehenge.

Yoh will be having two celebrations of his 100th birthday – one at China Panda in Longmont at 5 p.m. on Dec. 19, and another with his church family at Niwot United Methodist Church following the 10:20 a.m. worship service on Dec. 17. Both are open to friends near and far.

Yoh's ancestors have a history of living into old age. He said his goal is to live to be 103 years old, because his grandma passed away just three days shy of her 103rd birthday.

If you ask Yoh how his health is, he's likely to say "hunky dory!" His positive attitude, the kind and loving care of his family and Dinkfelt (including a schedule that highlights each day's activities, even exercise), his desire to stay cognitively active, and yes, his love of the molasses based shoo-fly pie, have graced Yoh with a long and wonderful life. "Dad always says "People say they're rich with money. I am rich with family'" Paul said.

Inside the Queen and Prince Philip's Love of the Simple Life

In August this year, at the grand old age of 96, and amidst mounting concerns for his health, Prince Philip officially retired from the frontline of public life, with his office announcing he would no longer be performing public engagements.

Since then, sightings of the outspoken Prince Consort have been as rare as hen's teeth. Like many other retirees before him, Philip, 96, has hunkered down and squared up to the myriad challenges of constructing a new life for himself no longer filled by incessant work obligations.

One of his first decisions was to move completely move out of Buckingham Palace, the official primary residence of the Monarch and her spouse, where he has only spent a handful of nights since stepping back from public life.

Philip has never made any secret of his dislike for Buckingham Palace (as the Netflix series The Crown dramatized so vividly) and has been known to compare its architecture to a hospital.

Over the past few months, Philip has been dividing his time between Windsor Castle (which he and his wife adore) and, intriguingly, a modestly proportioned and very cozy former farm manager's cottage on the Sandringham estate, Wood Farm.

The demands of duty mean that Philip and the queen have become accustomed to living geographically separate lives. Indeed, even when they are together they do not sleep in the same bedroom. So it's safe to say the new living arrangements are not indicative of any marital discord

On the contrary, the move to Wood Farm in fact represents the first steps in fulfilling a long held joint fantasy of Philip and the queen; the dream of quietly living out their days as "normal" people in the Shires.

That may be the ultimate purpose of Wood Farm, where Philip now fills his days with reading, painting (which he has always enjoyed when time allowed) and letter writing on behalf the 780 organizations of which he is still patron.

Living full time in the countryside has also allowed Philip to indulge one of the great passions of his life which is carriage driving. The mild and dry fall has been kind to Philip in this respect, often providing the perfect conditions for him to ride out with a four-in-hand.

Indeed, just this week, Philip was photographed driving a carriage laden with esteemed guests—including the Margrave (Count) of Baden, who is the nephew of Philip through his mother and Prince Ludwig of Baden—through Windsor Great Park during the celebrations for his 70th wedding anniversary.

Photographs showing the apparently hale and hearty duke were particularly welcome as one source said he had looked "almost dead" the weekend before in London.

Philip's health—he has had numerous health scares and hospitalizations in recent years—hangs silently over everything the royal couple do, of course.

Wood Farm has no on-site medical facility like Buckingham Palace, but the local hospital, Papworth, has previously demonstrated its ability to cope with their VIP local resident after Philip was rushed there by helicopter for emergency surgery after a heart attack in 2011.

The queen's visits to Wood Farm are said to be marked by informality, with the two role playing a distinctly middle class vision of domesticity, a game they have enjoyed for many years, particularly in Scotland, at Craigowan Lodge on the Balmoral estate, where the queen dons her Marigolds to do the washing up following Philip's legendary barbecues.

Penny Junor, the author of the forthcoming biography of Camilla Parker Bowles, The Duchess: Camilla Parker Bowles and the Love Affair That Rocked the Crown, told The Daily Beast that for several years the couple have chosen to stay at Wood Farm rather than opening up the big house if it is "just them" at Sandringham.

"They are very modest. They like being in a smaller cosier house, and not having to have all the staff. We may dream of living in palace surrounded by flunkies, but they dream of being like us. Just a few weeks ago David Linley (son of Princess Margaret) was given a day's shooting at Balmoral for a birthday present, and the Queen and the Duke were waiting on the guests."

Junor says it is also unsurprising that the duke continues, despite his official retirement, to write, lobby and fundraise on behalf of the 700-plus organizations of which he is still patron.

"When Diana bowed out of public life she gave up hundreds of roles just like that. Philip was very disapproving of what she had done because she let so many people down."

The writer Lady Colin Campbell told The Daily Beast that she believes the royal couples love of playing the part of ordinary folk can be attributed to their breeding.

"Both the queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are the great-great grandchildren of King Christian IX of Denmark, who was promoted from being an ordinary ducal prince to the throne. A strong line of very middle class domesticity runs in all his descendants. His children, who married into many of the royal families of Europe and included Queen Alexandra, were all brought up in relative penury, with little money, even after he was promoted.

"They lived a very frugal, upper middle class life. The children had to repair their own clothes and do housework, and their mother did the cooking, and this really is the key to the domesticity bred through all the great royal families of Europe."

Indeed, it may not be so long before the queen retreats in full from her own public appearance schedule and joins her husband at Wood Farm or Windsor more frequently than the odd weekend she can currently spare.

Her decision to ask Charles to lay a wreath on her behalf at the Cenotaph on Veteran's Day this year was likely a harbinger of things to come.

As the writer Christopher Andersen told The Daily Beast: "Philip has never made any attempt to conceal his utter disdain for the ceremonial duties that have gone with his position. Now he is blissfully free of them and making the most of that freedom. Without Philip, the queen is feeling somewhat unmoored, and in her heart of hearts would love to join him in retirement."

Being average-looking has made me happier in life and love

My looks don't stop traffic. Nor do they light up a room. It would be more accurate to say they have the impact of a one-bar gas heater in an ice-cool lounge; slightly insipid yet perfectly effective.

I can sidle up to my son's football match with little more than a nod from the other parents, the swish of my shoulder-length brown hair going unnoticed by the referee. Only my sharp observations and witty put-downs during the game turn heads.

This is what I love about being a self-affirmed plain Jane; the ability to be seen not for the symmetry of my face – which, frankly, has everything to do with good genes and little else – but for wit, character and intellect.

You only have to look at the A-list to see I'm on to something. Elisabeth Moss was hardly off our screens this summer, starring in the critically acclaimed The Handmaid's Tale (which earned her an Emmy)  and Top of the Lake: China Girl, yet she's hardly your stereotypically beautiful Hollywood star.

The same  goes for Girls actress and creator Lena Dunham,  Joanne Froggatt, of ITV's recent hit drama Liar, and Catastrophe's Sharon Horgan.  Unlike the Angelina Jolies or Gwyneth Paltrows  of the world, these actresses have a normalcy to their looks that gives them an air of relatability we, the viewers, can't get enough of.

On the catwalks, too,  there is a trend towards jolie laide models – a delightful French expression, literally 'beautiful ugly', to describe a woman who has what many would consider unattractive features.

Lily McMenamy, who's walked  for everyone from Chanel to Fendi to Emilio Pucci,  is the perfect example with her sticky-out ears and teeth, as is the alien-like Molly Bair, who's modelled  for Dior, Moschino and Vera Wang.

While it heartens me now – aged 46 – to hear of the traditional aesthetic of beauty finally being challenged, it doesn't help the teenage me, who pined to be beautiful at a time when a cute button nose, straight teeth and poker-straight hair were the only attributes that mattered. (FYI: I only had the button nose.)

Boys didn't seem to care I was one of the cleverest in the class or that my politics essays were distributed by teachers as examples of excellent work. Who cared about excellent work when excellent bone structure was the sole gateway to social nirvana?

I remember having an insane crush on a tall Greek boy called Pedro in sixth form (cue nightly fantasies of our elopement to Kos and a barefoot wedding ceremony under a white-hot sun), only to have him utter these soul-crushing words: 'Do you think you could put a word in for me with your mate Shelley? She's dead fit.'

My heart twinges even now when I think of it; my tear-streaked face in the bathroom mirror, my mother whispering useless words of comfort as she attempted to run her fingers through the frizz that was my hair.  I eyed my pretty friends with envy and thought all my problems would disappear if only I had better skin, hair, teeth, lips, eyes, cheekbones…

After a lengthy period of wound-licking, I resolved  to stay away from shallow boys (which ruled out most, it turned out). Then hope arrived, somewhat ironically, in the form of lithe heart-throb Patrick Swayze. 'Nobody puts Baby in the corner' was his seminal line to Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, before lifting her triumphantly over his head, championing plain girls with talents hidden under bushels everywhere.

I started to see the advantages of blossoming away from the spotlight; the greatest being not having your looks speak for you.  By my early 20s I had filled a bookshelf in my London flat with dog-eared second-hand books I had devoured and could happily critique with anyone, while my beautiful flatmate simply went to Waterstones one day and came home with an armful of 30 books, wanting a shelf that looked as interesting as mine.

It was as if she was trying to prove she had substance as well as looks.  It took her years to marry and settle down. I don't think she ever knew who she was; only how she looked to others. I, on the other hand, found love relatively easily in my early 30s, got married and had two gorgeous boys.

Sadly, two years ago, we split after a decade together; and although I didn't lift my head up for the following year, I met my current partner soon after that. (He was my third date back out there.) Being beautiful, I learned, only took you so far and everyone around me at the beginning of the noughties seemed to agree.