How Do You Love Your Children

How do you equate love your children? Many people "love" their children by things, or activities, or events. I am not discounting that demonstration of love. However, I am pondering what loving our children looks like in a way that nourishes their heart on a day-by-day basis.

1 Be genuinely interested in them and what they are saying or doing

This is a hard in our instant, digital age. How often, when your child is talking to you, are you looking at your phone, checking your Facebook or twitter, busy at the computer, watching TV? They are talking to you or showing you something and you are only half invested. Am I the only one convicted by this? When my children come to me, I want them to never doubt that I was interested in their latest Lego creation or the problem they are having or the book they want me to sit and read. Do they really know that I am interested or do they feel like they are competing with things that are not as important as them?

2 Smile

Yes, it is that simple. Smile at them! Parents that smile more in their homes, have happier children. How can you not be happy when you smile. If my children wake up a bit grouchy, I often will smile at them, hug them, give them a little tickle…they smile and their countenance changes. If I wake up grouchy, I purposefully change my attitude before the children awake. The way my days goes with my children often depends on my attitude, if I am smiling I cannot be grouchy! PLUS, it takes more facial muscles to frown…so SMILE at those sweeties the Father has blessed you with!

3 Remember their Name and Use it

This one is so hard! When I call one of my children I often run through a list of names before I get to theirs, sometimes even adding in the dog and several cousins. Well, maybe not that bad, but I know you know where I am coming from. When we use someone's name, it makes them feel special. Use your child's name and when you need them use the right name! I am always amazed how their physical posture and countenance changes when I call them by their name in a loving way.

4 Listen when they talk

Let them talk and really listen. Don't already be formulating answers to their questions or solutions to their problems. Listen with your heart, listen with your eyes. Look at them. We are often so eager to move on and find a solution that we don’t stop and take the time to listen to what they really need. Sometimes, it is not a solution they are looking for, but to know you really care. Be mindful, talk less, and listen more!

5 Do things that help them feel important

I do not mean go spend money here!! Allow them to help you make dinner, mow the grass, ask their opinion about something that effects them, spend one-on-one time with them in their bedroom playing a game or talking. Many times our actions do not match up with our words. We give lip service to loving our family and them being the number one priority in our lives, but we don't do the little things that make them KNOW, without a doubt, that they hold that place in our hearts. It is different for every child. Be discerning to what activities make your child feel important. It will not be the same for every child. They often will tell you or show you what they need if you listen and watch. Talk less and slow life down.

These are challenging ways to purposefully love our children. Sometimes, honestly, it is easier to buy something or take them somewhere. But the question that begs answering is that really in their best interest or is it easier for us?

My challenge for you, is to pray through these 5 ways of loving and pick one each week that you will begin practicing. For many, it will require change of habits, it will require slowing life down, it will require getting out of our comfort zone.